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How to get husband to understand it’s a condition.

Lagela
Community Member
This has been a long journey and still undiagnosed. I’m just coming out of number 5 MDE, all suicidal but no attempts. I have realised that my husband has been one of the hurdles in me getting the support that I need.
I have been scared for a long time to get help and felt like I am to blame and have to save the relationship before myself.
it actually feels refreshing to have this realisation but I do need help with it. Because I do value my marriage - it’s great when things are great.
sorry for the ramble - not the clearest mind today.
18 Replies 18

Hi lagela I hope I did not offend/upset you in any way as that was not my intention at all but I just did not want you to think “ oh this is what I have” then to find out from the psych that it’s something/s and have another episode or as I call it a low of that makes sense? I’ve also read up about depression and the different types and there’s a few that sounds like me but I could be wrong but I’m happy to leave it to my psychologist to make the diagnosis. And if she’s unsure & needs the second option from a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist for example then so be it. If my gp doesn’t agree with the diagnosis (I’ve been going to the same gp for at least 10 years so she knows me well) and tells me/ advices me to get a second opinion then I will if I also don’t agree.

Hey Mocha,

no offence taken at all. It’s a hard one to navigate - is a diagnosis useful and relevant? And what would it mean to have one? And I’m not really sure.

I have made an appointment with a psychotherapist (who won’t diagnose but will go beyond the person centred counselling).

i need to know how and why I operate the way that I do. Accept the things I can’t change and know how to deal with them. I didn’t get to it today but hopefully she can help with explaining the episodes to my husband.

😊 L

Hi lagela it would be useful for me to have a diagnosis as I’m the type of person who handles things better if I know what I’m dealing so yes for me it’s relevant

Totally agree Mocha. I am like you too. It helps me understand - not to mention, be able to treat it properly.

😊

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Lagela~

>is a diagnosis useful and relevant? And what would it mean to have one?

OK, I can only talk from my own perspective, but will first point out
that bouts of depression can sometimes be a symptom of something else - either physical or mental - which may need its own treatment.

I thought everything was me, and the way I acted was character flaws, temper etc., It was only when I was diagnosed (PTSD, bouts of depression and ongoing anxiety) that I was able to see that they were not (all) me but symptoms of the illness.

That meant an awful lot. It also eventually resulted in treatment that was accurate and as effective as one could reasonably hope for. Now I'm good.

No, I'm not suggesting you have PTSD - or anything else, just mentioning that physical and mental examination was the road I've taken.

My apologies if I seem to have hobby-horse about diagnosis, I'm pleased you are seeing someone.

Croix

Lagela
Community Member

Hi Croix,

sounds like I am where you were before your diagnosis. I was thinking that it was me being flawed.

I am slowly realising - perhaps not.

I had considered PTSD also but think that would be a professional diagnosis. I guess finding out about the types of depression and their triggers really called out to me as what I was experiencing.

im actually so keep to meet the new therapist. I spoke to her yesterday and we seemed to get along well and her methods and approach are right up my ally.

I hope today treats you kindly! 💗

Lagela
Community Member

😊 not 💗

(I didn’t know how or if I could edit 🤦🏽‍♀️)

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Lagela ~

I'm very glad you are getting good vibes from your therapist, it makes al the difference, please let me know how you go.

Because I'm not a doctor it would be completely inappropriate for me to mention any form of diagnosis, which is why I go on about a GP etc

I'm afraid I'm stuck with your heart 💗, I hope you do not need it. I'm afraid you can't edit a post:(

Croix 😊

Lagela
Community Member

Haha! Will do.

side note: I had a terrible experience way back when I accidentally signed off with a heart 💓 and it was misinterpreted (A professional setting) .... my over thinking mind clearly went back to that experience. 😂 😳