How to cope

[Melanie01]

I’m feeling a little lost. My mum had oesophagus cancer and went through radiation, chemo and then an operation that she came through with flying colours. Started to get up walk around and eat like normal and then it took a sudden turn, and passed away 13 days after surgery. My brother passed away 11 months and 3 weeks before that from a heart attack and my dad 9 months prior to that from pancreatic cancer. All I do is cry and I don’t know how much longer I can try and hold it all together. I’m the oldest of 3 girls left and I’m trying to hold it together for the other 2 but I don’t know how much longer I can. I’m emotionally and mentally exhausted and don’t know where I go from here.

[monkey_magic]

Dear Melanie01,

My condolences. That is so much loss for one person to move through/go through. I don't think anyone would expect you to hold it together, or be strong. Allow the waves of grief to go through you and experience all those valid feelings that you need to.

Sometimes you think you're ok then it comes again which is ok.

You could journal. I found that helped and I would write to the the person who passed on. Sometimes I'd just talk to them feeling them close. Light a candle, say a prayer.

It's important while you feel up to it to do self nurturing things like eat well, sleep well, perhaps gentle exercise, read, watch tv, take a bubble bath and so on.

There are a lot of really good books out there as well on dealing with grief and loss.

The grief line is 1300 845 745.

Im so glad you have your sisters to lean on as well. I hope you can all support each other through this time.

😞

[Guest_9462]

Hi Melanie...I lost 5 close family members inside ten years...it really is one of the hardest things to go through..it's left me with numb emotions..because I had to toughen up so much to cope...now, I've actually learned I've intentionally erased things from my mind..almost zero memory of any experience that was too difficult to live with ..I hope you don't have t just experience...I don't think it's something we get over...more like,we learn to live with it...I'm here to chat if you ever need...MAX.

[Loco23]

Melanie, my words can't even begin to describe what has happened in your life. That is too much to happen all in such a short period of time. One of the most challenging things about life is we can't pick and choose what and when something will happen. Being emotionally and mentally exhausted is how most people would be if that happened to them too.

How has the rest of your family been since all of this? Are you guys in regular contact? During this really rough time, it can be a good idea to invest time with the rest of your family who may be feeling the same way.