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How do I figure out why I’m sad?

Community Member

Is there a way to figure out what’s making me sad. I have this ache in my chest that hurts so much it feels like someone close to me has just died but nothing has happened. Why do I feel so this intense sadness? How do I figure out why?

5 Replies 5

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome 


There is actually disorders that are associated with sadness and/or constant low mood. Apart from bipolar I have dysthymia diagnosed after 4 decades of sadness.


I can't diagnose so speak to your GP about it. In my case it was easily treated.


Please read this-





Community Champion
Community Champion

claire 4 

  1. Tony has written a very helpful suggestion. 
    I find writing down  how I am feeling ,can help me..
     Seeing your Dr is a good start. 

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Claire


It can be a horrible and sometimes torturous feeling, that feeling of grief. My heart goes out to you as you experience such a deep, intense and challenging feeling.


I can't help but wonder whether there's something you're leaving behind or something you've lost in some way that's not entirely obvious at the moment. Being mum to a 20yo gal and 17yo guy, I witnessed my daughter go through some form of grief when she was in the process of finishing school in year 12. While she had and still has her whole future ahead of her, she was leaving the student in her behind. Since the age of 5 she'd always been a student. This had been a part of her identity for so long. Should add, she went to uni for a couple of years but has decided to leave the uni student in her behind now. A tough decision. Now she's tying to figure out who she's going to become. I also watched as my son lost parts of himself due to being subjected to bullying over the years. Being a truly beautiful sensitive kid (which he still is to some degree), he lost parts of himself in some ways. And myself, while I married 20 or so years ago with the dream of adventure, great goals to meet, excitement to experience etc, it took years and a lot of moments of sadness and disappointment to realise my husband's just not that kind of a person (an adventure goer, a goal setter or an excitement seeker). Facing this reality over time led to moments of grief. Just a few examples of how it's not always obvious what we can be grieving over until the reasons are revealed in hindsight through certain revelations.


I've found sometimes I can be stuck in a state of grief without realising, without fully feeling it until I eventually do, when the feeling becomes so overwhelming it forces me into some state of change.


While I've found grief to hold a lot of different feelings or emotions, I'd say the most outstanding one would have to be heartache. If emotion is energy in motion, it can feel like the energy's kinda stuck in the chest. It can be such a heavy feeling, hence the phrase 'heavy hearted'. If you're an empathic type, maybe what you could be feeling is someone else's grief, someone around you.


Just some of many possibilities when it comes to that feeling knowing as grief.

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Claire_4,


I am sorry you are experiencing this. That must be hard for you. These feelings that pop up for no reason are distressing. Is there something that may be subconsciously bothering you?


Unfortunately, anxiety has a way of making problems that aren't really there. Maybe if you see your GP they might be able to help you feel better.


I hope things improve soon,

Jaz xx

Community Member

It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of pain right now, and that's really tough. Sometimes we can't pinpoint exactly what's causing our emotions, but there are a few things you can try to help figure it out. One is to pay attention to when the sadness comes up, and what might be triggering it. Another is to try journaling or talking to someone you trust about how you're feeling, as this can help you explore your emotions and gain some insight. It's also important to take care of yourself by getting enough rest, exercise, and good nutrition. If you're feeling overwhelmed or like you can't cope, consider talking to a therapist or mental health professional, who can work with you to develop coping strategies and explore your feelings in a safe and supportive environment. Remember, it's okay to not have all the answers right now, but with time and effort, you may be able to better understand and manage your emotions.