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How do I continue? feeling of constant guilt and shame, depression.
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Dear Gjorggan,
I can see that this is not your very first post, so it's great that you are reaching out. But i must say, for someone to be "All work and no play" is probably a huge part of the reason that you are feeling so alone and isolated. My suggestion is that if you can cut back on your hours at work, then do that.
There is so much more to life than 'making all the money'. Yes, we all need food clothing and shelter, but at what cost to your mental and emotional health?
Try taking at least one day off per week. And perhaps too, try spending even just 30 minutes to an hour, on that day off, with a friend. Maybe go to a movie or have a meal out together. It doesn't have to be a major event, just enough to remind you that there are people out there who want friendship and companionship as well, just like you do. Connection with others is the only answer to loneliness. And also a large part of the solution to depression; connection with others shows us that we are all here and for each other, if only we can do our part in creating and maintaining that connection. And believe me, there are plenty of people out there who do care, and not 'just because they are being paid to'.
Anyway, I don't know if that helps or not. But I do hope you will at least do yourself this one favor and take some time; one day each week, to 'play' and actually be social with someone else rather than work.
I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. xo
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I appreciate the quick reply!