Highest of Highs to Lowest of Lows

[BCarger13]

Hi All

I am a 28 year old male, been in a relationship for 5 years and generally have lived a good life.

I moved from Adelaide to Brisbane almost 7 years ago, when i arrived i had no work and after 4 years built myself a career in the coffee industry i started as a technician worked my way up to a state manager. I had developed a great friendship with my boss at the time we were best mates and worked well together, around 12 months ago the friendship started to drift off and i noticed that he wasnt at work alot leaving me to run the state in his absence. It turned out that he was actually building a coffee roasting business with the company owners son. This was something we were always going to do together however i didnt have a millionaire father to fund the project.

I felt betrayed by this and left the company within a month to another company where i took on a larger and well paid role still in the coffee industry. However after 5 months i was burnt out and suffering from anxiety issues, i decided i would take the 20k in savings i had and open a coffee shop. I sunk every penny into it and was finally feeling happy with my life, during the last period of last year i had a visit from the second coffee company i had worked at and was offered my job back same money and all.

So i decided that yes id take it and closed my shop down however after two weeks i contacted them and they informed me the owners did not want me to return. I never heard a thing back from the worker who approached me to coming back again making me feel as if i had been betrayed by a friend.

I closed my shop in February of this year and have not been able to get any work since, im getting married in October and am building a debt in my overdraft.

I feel as if i am on a rollercoaster ride some days are better but i feel as if i have failed in life and have massive issues now trusting people and trusting their word.

I have no close mates who i can talk to and feel like im going through this alone, i have always had a job since i was 15 and with no employment i feel my life has no meaning and i have no drive for life.

Im not sure what to do really, everybody keeps saying just stay positive and the universe will deliver but its been 4.5 months and i'm just not sure how much more i can give.

I dont no what to do or where to turn hoping some body on here has been through a similar situation.

Thanks

Brendan

[Soberlicious96]

Dear BCarger,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and well done on reaching out and sharing your story with us.

I certainly know the pain of being out of work; I've experienced that a few times in my life. the longest stint I had was 18 months .... but that was mainly due to my drinking. Since I've been sober (22 years now) I have also had times of being out or work, but not for as long.

My most recent time of being out of work was a few years back now, but I got a job which I thought was going to be great. It was in my original trade and full time and everything I wanted. But it lasted just six weeks. What the owner failed to tell me when he hired me was that he was slowly but surely liquidating the business and moving to another business he had about 150 kilometres away. I was already married at the time (am now divorced) and my husband and I were already having financial issues, in that he lied to me about money, and I went into credit card debt just trying to buy the groceries every week.I felt betrayed by the business owner, and by my husband for his lies and lack of support. He was working full time and earning plenty to support us both, but would not hand over money for the food shopping. Hence my credit card debt. It was the only access to money I had at the time as I didn't qualify for any government support due to his earnings. Anyway, that was then, and now things are better; I am in my own place and in a job I love. So yeah, I got work again, and got my life back on track.

Have you talked openly with your partner about how you're feeling? And what about getting some sort of financial assistance? I know it's not ideal, but we all need food clothing and shelter, and if that means getting some sort of government assistance, well, that's what it's there for. I for one like to know that my taxes are being paid for that exact reason; to help folks get the things they need, in times of need.

I know it may not seem like it right now, but this WILL pass. Things can and will get better, so long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other. Please don't give up hope; there may be a change in your situation just around the corner. Tell you what, I'll even send out some good vibes to the universe on your behalf!

But seriously, I know it's hard, but you got this. You sound like someone who is persistent and determined; great qualities to have when looking for work.

Best of luck. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. xo