Hi Depression is hitting me hard this time

[aussiemum32]

Hi I don't even know where to start first, I have suffered depression and anxiety before many years ago, in my early 20's, I'm not sure how much to mention or not to mention so I will try not to go into too much detail here. I've been single for along time, and I am mostly OK with that, but sometimes its nice to have that partner to talk to. I have a great family but I feel like I burden them by lumping this on them. In the past few months issues about my weight, health problems, and other life issues have all just snowballed and without realising it, it hit me all at once, and now I just feel abit not overwhelmed, just flat and I know it will get better, I tell myself that, like last I felt depressed, I cried it out, I felt it all, and then I started to feel better, almost like myself, until it happened again, so this time I wanted to reach out maybe just to get it out of me and share it, I hope soon I can start to feel better . Ok that's it for now.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi aussiemum,

It sounds like you have been struggling a lot. It must be hard feeling so overwhelmed & flat, as you described. Also, I get the sense that perhaps you’re feeling a little lonely too. So I it’s good that you’re unloading some of your feelings here.

I think you were very brave to allow space for yourself to feel the painful/difficult feelings last time. That clearly made an enormous difference to you.

You can write in as often as you like if you feel having that space to share your feelings will help. There’s obviously no obligation or pressure to write, but if you want to vent or chat, just know there are many caring people here 🙂

Kindness & warmth,

Pepper

[aussiemum32]

Thank you it's much appreciated, my mum came to me this morning, apparently one of my daughters and my brother who I live with heard me crying in the shower last night, so even though I hate to tell people about how I feel, especially my family because I hate being the one that needs help, I love helping people, but to be helped, I don't know sometimes I feel is a weakness, stupid I know. I thought I was past the depression, I haven't suffered from it for almost 15 years, and I thought I was Ok with my life the way it was. I guess I was wrong. But I'm going to talk to my doctor to see if medication might be an option for me to help, and talking here too and know my family know, I feel a bit better. One day at a time as they say.

[aussiemum32]

So tomorrow I will be seeing my GP about what my options are to deal with my depression. Family health issues added with my own, it's been getting to be some very heavy baggage to carry. Today I feel better, sitting in my car staring out across the ocean near where I live, its a great view but I still feel like at any moment I will be back to crying alone for no apparent reason. I'm about to go to the gym for some treadmill time in the hopes it will give me some time to do something good for me, and help with my body and mind, help me focus on something else for abit. Plus it's a good excuse to listen to my favourite songs while I workout.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi aussiemum,

I’m glad you’re talking here. I hope sharing has been cathartic for you. I feel sometimes it’s good to have an anonymous space for an emotional release, especially if you’re someone who tends to keep things to yourself most of the time.

I think it was beautiful that your mum came to you the other day. I think that your brother & daughter were probably worried when they heard you crying. Clearly, they all care about you very much, and that’s very special.

That being said, I also understand that it’s hard for you to talk about your feelings or ask for help. I think many of us here on the forums, including me, are like that too in the offline world.

I think it’s a brave step forward to see your GP. I’m happy that you’re doing that for yourself, especially as there seems to be a lot going on lately. Family health issues on top of your other struggles is indeed a very heavy load to carry. I feel that’s rough..

That ocean view sounds spectacular! I love how you had a special, serene moment amidst the emotional turmoil. I hope you gym session went/goes well today and that you enjoyed some of your favourite songs 🙂

Till next time, kind and caring thoughts to you.

Pepper