Help.

[Spark_019]

Recently I have been really struggling. I am a grade 10 student in high school. The school environment makes me so depressed. I have no motivation to even do simple tasks. I dread the thought of having to move to the next class when the bell rings and find it so difficult to get out of bed in the morning. I have always been a good student, with mostly straight A's and the occasional B, but the school environment - if i'm honest - makes me want to crawl under a rock and die. I feel as if I am trapped in an endless cycle of exhaustion - wake up, cry, spend 7 hours sitting at a desk, come home, cry, struggle to sleep. I have been in this cycle for at least 6 months and I don't know how to deal with it any more. I missed an entire class because I couldn't stop myself from crying in a toilet cubicle. I can't talk to my parents because they are already dealing with their own issues and I couldn't bear to unload my fragile mental state and burden them like that. I don't know how much longer I can deal with this. I feel like no one can hear me. I am falling further and further into a dark hole each day.

[Lonelydan]

Hi Spark019, welcome to the forums. School is s toxic environment some fit into it well others not so much. You are not alone with that, so many young people with the same problem here on the forums. Search and you will find post similar. What’s going on with your parents. How’s your home environment. What interests do you have away from the dreaded very temporary horrible school yard. Cheers lonelydan.

[Jaymore]

Hi Spark.019.

I used to be like you. I graduated last year from high school and in my last three years I was a mess. I too cried in the toilets many times cause I just felt like life is never going to get better. I hope you have friends you can talk to? That certainly helped me. I get that you probably feel like no one would have time for your problems, but there are definitely people that would care enough to listen.

[A2D2]

Hi Spark.019,

I have a daughter going through a lot of this stuff at the moment and her dad and I have issues as well so it sounds very familiar.

Please speak to at least one of your parents. If you can't do it yourself at home, ask for help from a trusted teacher or school counsellor.

As a mum, I was devastated when I found out what my daughter was going through. She had been hiding it so well but I had an inkling of something not being right, I just couldn't work out what.

Of course I was really sad that she was having problems but there is a really pttractical reason too - I made a heap of decisions about working and home that I would have made differently if I had all the information. I might have been able to help BOTH of us better if I had known.

I guess my point is that you don't want to worry your parents but that is what they do. Line one in the Parent Job Description: Worry about kids. They might already be worried but don't know how to help and sad that you haven't come to them.

And maybe YOU can help THEM make better choices and feel better about THEMSELVES by telling them what is on your mind.