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adamc
Community Member
Hello, I'm a 36-year old man and have suffered depression for many years. I was bullied constantly in high school and have always preferred to keep things to myself.
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Hi Adamc,

I can hear your frustration and understandably so. It's a strange world at the moment right? What have you been doing to keep yourself busy? More story writing or voice work?

I'm sorry to hear about the woman. It can be really challenging to date and know other people's intentions.

I'm glad to hear that your appointment is next week!

adamc
Community Member

I am very frustrated. Every time Daniel Andrews announces new restrictions, my sister immediately comes up to me asking "Have you heard? What do you think of the new restrictions? How do you feel about them? If you don't wear a mask, you won't be able to go into your favourite shops."

My sister has always done that, just to see how I would react. She and mum would get together and conspire against me. Once I was banned from the internet for 2 weeks for not doing a single thing wrong and it was all because of my older sister whispering in mum's ear.

What utterly disgusts me is how much I see and read in the media of police arresting people for refusing to answer questions or not wearing a mask when out walking by themselves with no one around and yet Police refuse to lay a hand on government ministers when they commit serious offenses like fraud, deception or covering up a crime. When asked why, they say "Sorry, to reveal that would betray government confidence."

To be able to write, imagine and create with words or voices, I need to be in the right mindset. Lately, I haven't been.

As with women, my sister once asked me if I wanted to be a father one day and I said "No." Since now all I do is question the sincerity of those who express admiration, I don't bother any more.

Adam, never accept the statement ....there's nothing you can do about it, you're just going to have to accept it....'. That is small thinking, and keeps people imprisoned. Nothing wonderful in the history of mankind ever came from that.

Family dynamics can definitely be really tricky. I think especially when people know you well and knows what makes you 'tick'. I can understand that you want to be in the right mindset to write, imagine and create with words or voices.

If you put headphones on and watch one of your favourite movies would that potentially help? I find that when I wear my headphones and I watch Netflix and movies I feel like I can kind of 'escape' for a little while and let my imagination run wild with whatever I am watching.

Hope you guys take care of yourself during these really difficult times. How has today been for you?

adamc
Community Member

I had my appointment yesterday. It went good but I told her after everything that has been going on (losing my beloved dog, getting nowhere in life, women pretending to like me, Daniel Andrews punishing the Victorian people for his own incompetence) life has got no hope in it.

DeepBlue, I know what you're saying. Look at everything in history or in movies where people stood up to make a difference because they could no longer stand back and accept it. They made the world they lived in better. In some way, I want to be like these people by standing up for the people against the government who think they can commit crimes and use their positions to get away with it. It disgusts me seeing police arresting people for the most ludicrous of reasons when they turn a blind eye to the machinations of the government ministers.

What I have found is that for my fantasy stories featuring a sweet, kind-hearted princess named Shara, listening to Kim Wilde's cover version of "You Keep Me Hanging On" helps me think about scenes for her.

Hi adamc ,

I am really glad that you were able to have an appointment the other day and that it was good! When are you planning on seeing them again? Did they give you any good coping techniques?

What have you been up to on Wednesday and today? Have you been feeling a bit better and more open to doing the creative things you enjoy doing?

adamc
Community Member

My next appointment is on August 31. I wasn't really told anything in ways to cope with what's going on. But the more things happen -the more I'm told to just accept it- the more I don't want to be here.

I haven't really done anything much at all lately, just the same stuff; get up, use the compiter for a bit, have lunch while reading the paper, go for a walk, wander around the backyard etc. It seems as each day goes by, the more unhappy I get.

Hey Adam,
We're sorry to hear how tough things have become lately. It sounds like life feels a bit pointless for you at the moment and we know this must be a difficult feeling to carry. We think it's great that you're so proactive in seeking help and that you are willing to examine your own feelings and behaviour.

If you feel up to it, we'd also recommend reaching out to our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. The website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. You can also call our dedicated support line, staffed by mental health professionals, which is available 24/7 on 1800 512 348.
  We would also urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
Thanks for checking in Adam, please let us know how you are whenever you feel up to it.
 

adamc
Community Member

For many years, I was always the one who bottled things up. People are allowed to get angry but as soon there is a hint of anger in my voice due to what's going on, Dad says "don't get angry."

Every day, I read people's letters in the paper saying "Will no one stand up to Daniel Andrews and his ministers and make them held accountable?" I want to be that person but at home, my parents and eldest sister tell me always "There's nothing you can do about it." They even tell me to ignore all my concerns. I will never forget what happened with my beloved dog and what could've happened if people listened to my concerns rather than simply dismissing them.

I want there to be a point in my existence and every day, I am not seeing it.

Dear adamc, we are so sorry to hear that you're feeling unheard and that you do not see a point to your existence every day. We are glad that you are sharing your feelings in a safe space such as our forum, and we encourage you to continue doing so. If things do become a little too overwhelming for you, we encourage you to call a helpline, such as LifeLine (13 11 14) or SuicideLine (1300 659 467), or emergency services on 000 (triple zero). If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. Otherwise, please feel free to continue to reach out and post on the forums. We hope that getting support from the community and getting your words out there will bring you some comfort.