Hello

[adamc]

Hello, I'm a 36-year old man and have suffered depression for many years. I was bullied constantly in high school and have always preferred to keep things to myself.

[missep123]

That's amazing! It really sounds like you are creative and imaginative. Some people, like myself, have difficulty connecting with that side. That's great that you have jotted down ideas for stories too. Luckily there are great fantasy novels with strong female characters! Could reading and jotting down stories be a part of your self-care routine?

Have you ever thought about acting in a local group for example? I know some people who have really gotten into it and they have said that they are an open-minded group of creative minds.

[adamc]

Thank-you. I love using my imagination. I do all my reading at night as it helps me get settled down in bed and I use my imagination for ideas during the day. Sometimes at night, I could be listening to Kim Wilde's cover version of "You Keep Me Hanging On" and it helps creating new scenarios for Shara, or a nice music video with scenes. I also think it would be great to be played over the end credits of the movie.

As for acting, a counselor suggested it to me years ago but I'm not sure. I much prefer to be heard than seen. It doesn't really help when I have never gotten any encouragement or support from my parents. Them plus employment consultants have all given me the hint of "This is what we want you to do, this is what you have to do and this is what you should do." They've never been interested in what I want.

And after what happened with Kelli and my bullying at school and everything else over the years, if I hear one of them say one more time "Just leave it, there's nothing you can do about it" I am going to scream. But if you take a look at history and movies, people have made a significant difference in the world because they made a choice and it always go like:

"I made a choice. I could either just sit back and keep letting it happen or I could stand up and doing something about it. I chose the latter."

Every time they were told by people that there was nothing they could do to change it and to just accept it, it just made them even more determined:

ROSA PARKS: Even though she was probably told that there was nothing she could do to change the rules with how black people were being treated, Rosa made a choice; to either keep allowing black people to be treated as second-class citizens, to have to get on a bus from the back door or she could show that they all the have the right to sit on a bus where they want. She made a difference.

OSKAR SCHINDLER: Decided to save thousands of Jews from being slaughtered by the Germans. He was probably told to just leave, there's nothing he could to change it.

THE REBELLION: In "Rogue One", a small group of rebels decided to steal the Empire's Death Star Plans. Jyn Erso was told that there was nothing she could do about the massive battle station and to just leave it alone. Her group made a big difference when they succeeded in acquiring them.

[missep123]

I think that's really great! Imagination and creativity are great things. I think it's a good idea to read before bed to unwind and read uninterrupted.

If you like to be heard rather than be seen could you perhaps do voiceovers over the short scenes you have written and created?

I can definitely see what you mean about making a choice, change or doing something. I have felt this, but sometimes it can feel like a lot of pressure and I realised that it was affecting me in a detrimental way. I think the most important thing is to look after yourself and your mental health and see if it is making you feel better or worse. It can be really tough when we have a lot on our shoulders.

Here for you!

[adamc]

I would enjoy doing voice-overs. For many years, I have enjoyed doing it.

But the other night when I was cooking dinner, I guess I was in my own little world; doing voices, thinking out loud, singing in Japanese and all of a sudden Mum said "Will you stop that, it drives me crazy!" and not in a nice way. I stopped doing it for the rest of the night.

I think the only time I can truly feel like myself, or the person I want to be, is when I'm out by myself. Someone who wants to make a difference when no one else is. I overheard Dad saying the other day that the people who should be doing something to change what's going on don't want to.

[missep123]

I think so too! It seems like voice-overs would align well with your interests!

Sorry to hear that happened, it can be difficult to 'be ourselves' when we live with others. Is there a possibility in the future to live by yourself/is that something you would want to do?

What kind of songs do you like to sing in Japanese?

[adamc]

When my young sister was a lot younger, she preferred me to read her bedtime stories because I made them fun. She loved me reading "Disney's Aladdin" to her because I tried to sound like the characters, especially Iago, so she knew who was speaking.

Dad and that young sister of mine has suggested that I would feel better to have my own place but I guess I've gotten too comfortable where I am. While Kelli was alive and well, I said that when she's gone, there will be nothing keeping me here. And besides, somehow I don't think we'll be living in this house for much longer anyway as earlier this year, Dad found out we only have about 4 years left to pay off the house or else the bank will re-possess it. He has always said that it would've been paid off years ago if mum didn't keep spending the money. I'm freaked out about that.

With Japanese, I love the Super Sentai theme songs, Sailor Moon and the theme for Space Battleship Yamato 2199.

I was first introduced to Japanese back in Grade 5 where we learnt how to write our names, play games but at that time, it was just another language. But now, through watching Japanese TV shows, movies and anime, not only have I picked up quite a bit and speak and understand a few phrases, it's now my all-time favourite language and culture. I can write my full name in Japanese writing without even thinking about it.

[missep123]

That's great that you are able to do voices like that! I'm sure your sister has fond memories of that!

How do you feel about the house situation? Would you feel comfortable to find your own place?

The Sailor Moon song is a classic! It sounds like things to do with Japanese culture are hobby of yours! Do you think you can integrate this into your self-care when you are feeling low?

Here for you!

[adamc]

She does. One time when mum told me to "shut up" while I was doing them, my sister spoke up and told her what I was doing and that I'm good at it. Mum didn't believe her.Anyway, today when Dad heard me doing voices, he said "Talk properly." The problem is when you hear voice actors saying how they got started, they all tend to say "by imitating other voices."

AS for the house situation, I'm not sure. I love being on my own, many times I actually prefer it but I suppose what stops me is waking up at night to find someone breaking in. Many years ago, my mother and two sisters went on holiday and Dad had to work night shift so I spent the whole night alone in the house. While all the windows and doors were properly shut and locked, I felt on edge.

I love Japanese, have never been anywhere where people have been speaking it so I'm not sure how I could integrate it. Sometimes I do use Japanese in place of English words.

[missep123]

That's nice that your sister stood up for you. It sounds like you are talented and have a passion for voice work! Do you ever watch Youtube videos about it?

I can understand spending the night alone in the house can be scary especially when you are used to people being home. Why do you think you felt on edge? With regards to the fear of waking up to someone breaking in, is that something that is likely to happy in your neighbourhood?

Here for you!

[adamc]

I do enjoy it. I don't watch any videos about it.

AS for being on edge about spending the night alone, years ago i watched Australia's Most Wanted and the re-enactments used to scare me; people are in bed and hear a noise, they get up and find an intruder in their home.

And now to find out yesterday that Victorians will be made to wear face-masks when they're out. I don't wear them, I don't like wearing them and it is further reason why I no longer want to be here anymore. Everything I love and cherish gets taken away from me. All I get from my parents is "Well, there's nothing you can do about it, You're just going to have to accept it." I swear, the next time I hear them say that I am going to scream!