Hello

[bumbledbee]

I just really need to talk.

My depression has gotten really bad in the last week. I went off my medication at the beginning of the year and things were okay for a while. Every now and then I would get a mild depression but nothing too bad.

Last Saturday it hit me pretty hard. I've completely lost my appetite and broken into tears more than once. I struggle to get up. I spend most of my time in bed or on the floor. The negative thoughts are overwhelming, but I can't stop thinking them.

I went back on my medication 2 days ago. Obviously no change yet.

It's the feelings of uselessness that really get me

[Croix]

Dear Bumbledbee~

I'd like to greet you and make you feel welcome here on the Forum, a good place to come as one can talk to others without endless explanations. There are many here who have felt as you do at the moment and would lend their support.

I'm glad you have started back on your medication. That bit of news says several things, firstly that you are able to take some action yourself to get things better (one can end up sort of worn down and do nothing), and secondly there may well be light at the end of the tunnel as they start to take effect.

It sounds as if your previous regime must have been at least partly effective for you to feel well enough to go off it, so hopefully this regime will be effective too. Are you getting any form of therapy as well as the meds? I found I needed another professional apart from a GP in order to improve.

Another thing I needed was personal support, and I was incredibly lucky to have my wife, who cared and looked after me. Is there anyone in your life you can lean on, who will want to help, even if understanding is difficult?

Depression does make one feel useless - and unmotivated. You have not said much about your life, would you like to say more? Knowing something about you means advice can be more accurate, less general as this post is.

Talking of posts I'd suggest having a look around this Forum to see how others in the same situation have coped, looking in the Facts menu above can be useful too with general information on your illness.

Do you have any idea what may have brought on this latest episode, something in your current life perhaps? I've found I can to some extent avoid those things that act as triggers, not 100%, but as time has gone on I've been able to deal with more.

I'll mention in passing our 24/7 Help Line listed at the top of the page, it is somewhere to go where you can hear a professional caring voice when things get on top of you.

I really hope you come back here and say more

Croix

[solabear]

Welcome bumbledbee, thank you for sharing your story.....you are not alone. you came to the right place to talk as there are so many understanding and supportive people on here.

Great reply from Croix, and i hope you come back and tell us a bit more about you. Hang on darling....the meds will kick in soon and you'll feel a lot better.

I'm here to listen and look forward to hearing from you

sola xx

[quirkywords]

bumbledbee

welcome, I am glad you have communicated with this forum. It is a safe place with friendly people and helpful advice.

Depression is awful but has Ceoix has suggested their are ways that can help. Be patient with the medication as it does take time.

You sound like a very caring and sensitive person.

Look forward to your next post.

Quirky

[demonblaster]

Hi Bumble 🙂

Ahhh not good is it feeling this way

Good on you talking here as said it's a great place without judgement to be open and let it out. Great support and care here.

I guess with how you're feeling that sleeps not happening too well? That compounds and brings stress with lack of. Things are so much worse when we're tired, it pulls us down.
Depression and sleep well lack of seem to come hand in hand to pull us down furthur.

Try not to believe what depression is so good at convincing us of, like we're no good worthless etc...it's not how it is it's the depression beast gnawing at us.

Good you're back on meds, that as Croix said (very good post btw Croix 🙂 if they worked in the past hopefully same again and you'll be able to see some light again.

I think if you're able to work out what's pulling you down and agree with above if you feel up to letting more out about yourself and what's going on here it'll help you & us all to help you through it.

Do you see a psych of any type, a good one can be of great help too.

If you can try and eat, even small amounts for now it'll give your body some energy for strength.

Let the tears flow hun, it's exhausting but a great release of pain, stress needs to come out not be cooped up, it manifests.

Do you have family & friends?

Talk to ya soon 🙂

[White_Rose]

Dear Bumblebee

Hello, thanks for writing in and welcome to Beyond Blue.

Just when we think it's safe to go back in the water... This what happens with depression. It really is a beast of an illness. Did you discuss going off ADs with your doctor or just decide to do it? I have met others who stop taking meds and after a few months, after managing well, they crash. It seems quite unfair.

Did you have a reason for stopping your AD? So many people stop or never start because they are ashamed of taking antidepressant medication, and in being depressed. Do you think that was your reason? I ask because being ashamed dictates so much of what we do.

Of course if it stops us harming people or stealing or some other criminal offence, then that's good. Depression isn't a criminal offence and we have done nothing wrong when depression decides to visit. But it often feels as though we are being judged by others, usually people who know nothing about depression. This is where we start getting into trouble. Hiding our depression, which is exhausting, or allowing it to be known and finding some of those we thought were friends now want to step away.

What do you think is the case for you? I have a couple of medical problems which means I will be taking meds for the rest of my life. So what's different about taking AD forever? It's because we know that many people disapprove and think we can become well simply by willpower. Oh how I wish!

You know the full effect of your AD will kick in during the next couple of weeks. Keep reminding yourself that the AD is slowly taking effect every day. Every day you are moving towards feeling better.

Do you talk to a counsellor/psychologist/psychiatrist at all? Have you ever done so? I ask because if you had a good relationship with one of these it may be worthwhile to go back and have a bit of a top up. Can you remember what you did to cope in the past when the black dog attacked? See if you can use these actions for the next few weeks. This will help you through the worst of it.

Negative thoughts. What a nuisance they are. Nothing more guaranteed to stop you having an interest in life. Again, what did you do in the past to kick them out? Try not to struggle to get rid of them. Acknowledge their presence then go and do something physical that requires your full attention. Let the negatives float away. Mowing the lawn, cooking a meal, playing football with the littlies, going to the gym, all good diversions.

Mary

[demonblaster]

How are you going Bumble

When you're feeling like talking it'd be great to know how things are for you atm 🙂

[CJs_mum]

hi there sweet, sounds pretty bad...but i need you to know these things happen: especially while getting off the meds.
If you had been on them for a while, its important to expect a couple of days of low feelings, but eventually things pick up again. If not, see your doc right away! 🙂
Its ok to have a day or two of feeling down, but its not ok to feel it all the time.
I'd been on medication for about a year, then (with a drs permission) went cold turkey. At first I was fine, thought all ok - "I was cured! YAY" then I crashed and its been up and down since. Meds help those up and down moments, but it takes time. Expect a bit of a roller coaster for a little while, but then you should start to feel better. If no improvements or the rollercoaster is getting too extreme, talk with the dr asap! And keep talking on here. Also have a chat with the doc about the Pill. If you are on it it could be affecting the mood too. Eat well, go for walks or do some mindfulness stuff if you can and know we care.

Glad you found BB. You will always have someone to talk to here! 😄 There's always something to read.
Here for you, please keep coming back any time you need. All the best on the journey.