Frustrated at the ignorance of my boss

[Julz01]

After discussing with my new senior manager and another manager how we could support an employee going through a mentally challenging time, my boss made the most alarming statements. She said she understood anxiety but she did not get depression & said people need to choose to be happy & it's all about choices. She went on to say suicide is cowards way out & people have choices. She said fat people choose to be fat because they choose not to exercise & eat properly. I have battled depression & anxiety for 14 years & this time last year I was hospitalised. I am in a good place now but it wasn't a simple choice & if I had a setback she would refer to me as a fruit loop as she does other staff suffering mental health conditions. I was 30 kg overweight till this year but I didn't choose to be that way & if I could have fixed it overnight with a choice I would have. I have been in a good place but this has really bothered me. My colleague tried to explain ill mental health is not a choice but to no avail. I get there are ignorant people out there but was not expecting it was something from someone in her position. Mind you this is the same day we had an R U OK function with our staff today & had a BB Ambassador speak. My friend thinks I should report her but I have to report to this person. Truly gobsmacked!!

[Julz01]

Having a bad day this has really affected my state of mind

[james1]

Hello Julz

Sorry we didn't get around to responding to you earlier.

Having her say those things in front of you when you'd struggled and, by the sounds of it, are still struggling would've really hit hard.

I'm quite a non-confrontational person so I'm perhaps not the best person to listen to for practical advice, but I would always be careful about how I go about reporting someone. Unless they've actively done something discriminatory that can be proven, it can be very tough.

It's awesome that you're trying to help out this work colleague. Perhaps it's worthwhile having a think about how you'd like to help them. I think unless you are in a direct manager/employee relationship, the best thing to do is be a support. If she needs professional help, she needs to look outside of work for it. If she needs time off work or a changed/more lenient contract, she needs to discuss that with her manager.

It really sucks, but unless there's a clear act of discrimination, not just a discriminatory mindset, I don't know what can be formally done. But just having someone in her court, giving her support, could be immensely helpful.

James

[white knight]

Hi Julz, welcome

Yes I agree with James on offering kind guidence and support to the worker with challenges.

As for that manager James's advise is wise.. I'm sorry if I use this word but I would "judge" that manager as vrry naive in mental health knowledge and mot good with attitude. However, I'd also allow karma or other managerial staff to take care of the issue. You also have to be wise in dealing with managers and remember just brcause they are silly in this way doesnt mean they are foolish as basic managers in terms of doing the rest of their job.

Its more beneficial to help your colleague and keep your job than educate the likes of that manager. Although the manager seems unreasonable he/she might eell have a kind side toward other things and I'd wait for a while before I judged.

Google

Topic: smoke and mirrors - its not real- beyondblue

Tony WK

[Julz01]

Thanks for the tips I don't intend to report her because at the end of the day I have to report to her. I will continue to offer assistance to the employee because that's part of my job & unlike my boss I understand.

for the most part of the 12 months since my hospitalisation I have been going well best I have in years. Work is triggering a setback I have not felt challenged in my job for a long time, now I have a new boss I feel under utilised for which she is apologised for as she forgets she has my expertise in the team. Then I am told they want to downgrade my position description to hide me in the business from redundancy & told if I challenge it that's what I will face.

so basically I am in a job that is not as sold to me over 2.5 years has evolved into even less than what was sold to me, being threatened with redundancy if I don't agree to position description changes, and I have a boss that would not support me if I am experiencing ill mental health.

Sadly I live in a high unemployment area & there a few jobs available in my field, so if I can't find anything else I will have to go to one of the major cities which means nights away from my family.

i am disappointed I have been good for so long & now mentally I am going backwards. My anxiety is huge which is causing me to feel sad - I feel trapped.

[white knight]

Hi julz

Yes a ticklish, annoying situation. I think over the last 30 years security in jobs has gone downhill. Injustice has crept in.

This leads me to my only remaining bit of advice. Not direct adbice but just to suggest you consider all possibilities. The following thread suggests it. Google

Topic: be radical- beyondblue

The full topic is "if all else fails what can you do- be radical"... but google doesnt recognise it all.

I dont know all of your circumstance so youll have to adopt ideas for your situation.

Sometimes we have to broaden our horizons. If that means leaving so be it. If it means looking for work in a high unemployment area, then begin. But its going to be difficult remaining in your current job.

Tony WK