Forcing ourselves to feel happy can make us feel a whole lot worse

[73Bonneville]

I don't know if this has been posted elsewhere. Or if we are allowed to post links etc. If not I'm sure the moderators will sort it out.

Just read an interesting article in the Age, the content certainly applies to me and I am sure many others.

It applies in particular to people (like me) who apparently have a good life, great family, friends, work, no worries mate. But we are depressed or sad, and then feel guilty and bad about being depressed which makes us even more depressed. Maybe read the article, it is explained much better there. I'm not sure if we can post links but here it goes:

http://www.theage.com.au/lifestyle/health-and-wellbeing/wellbeing/forcing-ourselves-to-feel-happy-ca...

[Sophie_M]

Hi 73Bonneville, we don't normally allow posts with links in them, but this is a really interesting discussion topic - thank you for posting it.  'Depression about depression' and 'anxiety about anxiety' are certainly topics that will resonate with many people posting here. What do others think?

[Croix]

Dear 73Bonneville ( & Sophie_M too)~

Thank you for the article in the Age. I've never managed to force myself to be happy, I have felt guilt and anxiety at being sad, unhappy, anxious, out of step.That guilt is I guess partly me feeling I should be content, after all I've a loving wife, great kid, enough money for the next set of bills and so on. What have I got to complain about? It is also partly related to feeling a burden on others.

Intellectually I know it does not work like that and my circumstances bear little relation to my feelings when illness takes over and I have little choice as to how it affects others, however knowing this does not really stop me feeling a failure and a nuisance.

I hear the phrase 'be kind to yourself' all the time and have often wondered what it meant. Perhaps giving oneself permission to feel as one does without overtones of failure and guilt might be the explanation. Now all I have to do is find how to switch the guilt button to off, acceptance doesn't come easy.

Croix

[MarkJT]

73Bonneville, cracking post!

I can't say i have felt worse for feeling bad in a depression sense but getting anxiety about getting anxiety...boom - that is me to a tee!

I was lucky to be able to square it away with myself a few years back that good people with good lives get depression. It is what it is sort of attitude. I am very well aware of how i was to be able to do that. It does piss me off though when i am in a depressive funk. It's like, enough already go away but the old chest nut of "just think happy thoughts" doesn't really help but the depression doesn't deepen in the same sense.

With the anxiety though, if i had a dollar for every time i got anxious about getting anxious, I would be typing this on my private jet on route to my villa in the Swiss alps. Slowly but surely i am edging towards getting this under control but still have a ways to go.

Again brilliant post and thanks for letting through Sophie.

Mark.

[Doolhof]

73 Bonneville and SophieM,

Thank you so very much for allowing this connection to go through!

I have just read the article from the Age and the penny has finally dropped, the light has been turned on, I now feel a sense of hope, someone has chucked me a rope so I can climb out of the pit of grief!

This article has made sense of the processes my psych has been trying to explain to me with 6 pointed theories and strategies I couldn't get my head around. This article expressed it all in a way I comprehend and can work with!

Thank you so very much! Oh Bonneville and Sophie if you were right here I would give you such big hugs I might make you burst!

Cheers all from Mrs. D.

[73Bonneville]

Wow, I have only been on this forum a few days and already I'm receiving hugs.

I hope the article is read by many, share it around.

And Mrs. D., now you will be able to find your way out of the 'doolhof'

[MarkJT]

73Bonneville, other than the replies you have received on your post, there will have also been a whole stack of people who read your thread, clicked on the link and gained something out of it.

Your post could well have made a whole range of people be easier on themselves when they are in a depressive funk.

Well done.

Mark.