For all those that are in a dark place, please read.

[Tgirll]

Hi all,

I wanted to post a little bit about my story. After battling debilitating daily panic attacks,derealisation, depersonalisation, generalised anxiety and major depression for a year now, i can say that i am on the road to recovery! I was in such a horrible dark place with what seemed like an eternity. I had completely lost myself. I cant even describe in words how i felt and it scares me to even think about it. I would have periods where I couldn't leave the house for weeks, I had to quit my permanent job that I had for years, i would have to excuse myself mid conversation to go to the bathroom and have an unprovoked panic attack (on days that I could even get words out of my mouth), some days i couldnt even get out of bed for days, paralysed with darkness, dread and agonising fear, even to get some water. I would wait till my partner got home late afternoon so they could get me a glass of water. For almost a year, I couldn't even find momentary relief. I truly felt like I had lost myself and thought I would honestly exist like this forever. Every bit of me truly believed this.

Well I am happy to say that i was wrong. For anybody that is in a dark place, please hang in there. It does get better. I will say this again, recovery is very possible. It does get better. I know it may feel like these words almost feel like lies, or impossible or unrelateable (i felt like this when I was bad) but hang in there, you can recover 🙂

Do not underestimate the little things. Eating well, sleeping well, getting out of the house, exercise, relaxation techniques, having a recovery plan or anxiety/depression plan, seeking inspiration, reaching out for help, seeing a psychologist and one of the most important, giving yourself time and grace on those days where you feel like you're going to be stuck like this forever. Try not to be hard on yourself. Recovery is not linear and it can be different for everybody. I do however believe that there are some universal things that are beneficial to everyone's recovery. For e.g. eating well. Taking a good quality multi vit, eating foods high in omega 3, aminos such as tyrosine (speak togp for interactions) which help absorb more dopamine, serotonin etc.

Unfortunately I have to keep this short but I just wanted to share that I am feeling better, and if I can you definitely can!

Hang in there, you are valued you are important you are loved 🙂

❤️

[Croix]

Dear Tgirll~

You certainly have painted a very clear and true to life picture of being in depression's and anxieties' grip. An awful lot of people will relate to it. That's why your message of hope is so valuable.

You are right, those illnesses narrow down your focus until there is only plain and hopelessness left. The possibility of improvement seems an impossible hope. It does come though and hanging on and trying to take encouragement from others is so important.

When trapped in bed or house it is so easy to judge oneself by normal standards and feel a failure, it is not appropriate, one should judge by realistic standards that take illness into account. That way even small things like taking a shower can be regarded as victories.

Thank you

Croix

[blondguy]

Hello Tgirll

Croix has provided his understanding above and has mentioned that you are far from a failure

If I can thank you for your inspirational post. I hope you dont mind if I quote a part of what you wrote 🙂

Tgirll mentioned "For anybody that is in a dark place, please hang in there. It does get better. I will say this again, recovery is very possible. It does get better. I know it may feel like these words almost feel like lies, or
impossible or non relatable (i felt like this when I was bad) but hang in there, you can recover 🙂"

I understand where you have come from Tgirll....I was also housebound for a while with crippling anxiety.....It was a long time ago in 1983 when I was 23. I still remember how vile the symptoms were...

You are a gift to the forums Tgirll! I hope you can stick around the forums when its convenient for you 🙂

My kind thoughts

Paul

[Tgirll]

Hi all,

I apologise as I thought I had responded but my reply must not of sent! Thank you both for your responses. I really do hope this post helps some people out. I definitely will stick around. I remember when I was stuck in this horrible frame of mind I would desperately search the forums looking for a positive story where someone was stuck in a very bad place and they found themselves again and got their lives back. If i could just find a few stories like That, I knew it would maybe give me a glimmer of hope. Even if it was just for a nano second. I couldnt really find much out there. I do think that plenty of people do get a lot better and their illnesses become a lot more manageable. It's just we don't see these posts and stories on these forums because these people are out there living their lives, not dwelling on how they were feeling, being in the moment and enjoying it. I've noticed that's what's happened to me! Previously I would almost obsessively check beyond blue and forums to try and ease my anxiety and reassure myself that I wasn't crazy and hadn't completely lost myself. Truth be told, I have been in the moment and just been focusing and trying to enjoy what I am doing there and then. But I will stick around, most definitely 🙂

Croix you certainly hit the nail on the head with putting things into perspective with achievements. It's definitely a great way to look at things. I would actually tell myself "well done, you got out of bed today 🙂 you could've stayed in bed but you didn't. Or well done you went to work today, good job!" Definitely great to reward yourself for those victories, no matter how tiny they may seem.

Paul thank you so very much for those very kind words 🙂 they do mean a lot!

Thank you both again and my kindest thoughts out to you

❤️