Finding a good professional?

[Mantec]

I have quite ingrained difficulties with many facets of life, which make it almost impossible for me to do more than stagnate without professional help. The main thing I just can't ever seem to make any progress with is getting out of social isolation and forming meaningful connections as it has been so long since I think I ever connected with anyone. I have a plethora of problems on top of that, including an inability to study or really commit to long-term goals, relapsing into states of nihilism, lethargy and trouble managing ADHD symptoms, but this has always been the underpinning factor that I can never make progress with and severely exacerbates all of my other symptoms to the point of finding life unbearable.

I first sought professional help in late 2017, but the psychiatrist I was seeing was far from helpful. I didn't really like him from the start, and I didn't respect him, and he kept prescribing higher doses of medications that I don't think were ever going to work. Since I began seeing him, my social isolation and anger issues worsened, and being a musician, I completely stopped producing music or practicing my instruments for years while I was on medications earlier this year, I went straight back, despite how much skill I had lost.

In hindsight, I can't believe I didn't stop seeing him sooner, and I am thus quite traumatized as I don't want to be stuck in the same situation of not knowing whether they aren't a good fit, or if my unhealthy tendencies don't like the feel of treatment. I know I never want to go onto any medications again, and thus probably want to see a psychologist/ psychotherapist, but finding one is really difficult.

I have seen a sleep psychiatrist who has recommended some CBTi specialists, but the insomnia is nothing compared to my social difficulties, and thus I am hesitant to see anyone before I know how to look for psychologists.

How do I find a good psychologist? I have seen a couple before, and to be brutally honest, they all just seemed like people who weren't intellectual enough to be a psychiatrist. I don't know if this is just an unlucky draw, but I don't feel particularly reassured that I am going to be able to find a useful professional online, and I don't know where else to find one. It feels the medical industry has become so insanely physicalistic as well, that I am hesitant to even listen to a GP's advise.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I do understand.

I'm 64yo. In 2003 I was falsely diagnosed with ADHD. For 6 years I had tried 12 different medication without success. Then in 2008 I got other diagnosis from two other psychiatrists- bipolar2, dysthymia, depression and anxiety.

Needless to say I wasn't happy. However I embarked on new meds and life improved greatly. I also figured out that recovery didn't mean just psych visits. There's so many days in between untreated. Hence this forum for support and advice.

Furthermore- traditional forms of human contact like sports and hobbies. For me model airplanes resulted in a small club of likeminded guys to mingle with. Such contact I've had to monitor- too much I find frustration, too little I'm not mingling enough.

Also, I felt the strong need for relaxation methods. For me however I mixed it up and included words of wisdom by a man called Maharaji.

As for finding a good psychiatrist it's lucky dip, but you'll be surprised how good some are. Keep trying.

Please Google the following and read the first post of each

Beyondblue topic he helped me for 25 years- Maharaji

Beyondblue topic a good night's deep sleep

Beyondblue topic the balance of your life

YouTube maharaji acceptance

Repost anytime
TonyWK

[Givi]

Hi Mantec,

I feel the frustration your going through. I feel in a bit of a rut myself, not having much social connection and being a bit directionless etc. I don't find I have strong social connections where I work as other people do, but I've learned to appreciate the small amounts of chit-chat every day as feeling a part of it all.

Yes, I agree that it is really frustrating to find the right professional to talk to. To me, it's about having someone that can strongly empathise with your situation and give you good advice for plotting a path back to being content with yourself and your life. I feel that some pretty much teach the CBT method and leave you to it to 'figure it out'. I think being able to good advice comes with life experience.

Perhaps just put your previous bad experiences with them down to 'life experience' and know that you will be wiser for it.

Get plenty of sleep and give meditation a try as well, helped a lot for for me.

Givi

[smallwolf]

Hi. I will share a little of my experience and what I have found out since that time...

firstly, my GP asked me some questions about what I was looking for and from that gave me a couple of names. After that point I only checked them out online and selected one which for me worked out.

Two points I would make - the success or otherwise can depend on the relationship between the client and the professional, so a good relationship goes a long way to the resolving (broadly speaking) whatever issues you bring to conversation. The second thing is finding someone that listens to you and works with you instead of giving you advice or telling you that you are doing things the wrong way etc.

A link (page) you might want to look at is...

https://www.abc.net.au/life/finding-the-right-psychologist/10139160

https://www.psychology.org.au/Find-a-Psychologist

And with the 1st link, I can say that people who knew I was seeing a psychologist asked me where I was going and i told them. Word of mouth helps (if possible).

I hope some of this helps you in your search.

Tim