Feeling pointless and unwanted by even my best friend

[Snow_Angel]

Lately I've been feeling empty and pointless, but there's no way that I could tell anyone because none of my friends would care, they'd find it annoying, and my parents would laugh.I don't even feel like I can contact my friends anymore because I'm just a burden to them, and I used to think it was my imagination, but I'm almost certain now that it's not.

I used to always ask to hang out with my best friend, but she always made excuses that she's busy or that she doesn’t feel well after acupuncture or going to the therapist, and needs a few days to cool off. Of course it makes me feel disappointed but I have been thinking about it as normal, but when I mentioned it to my mum she said it didn’t seem normal, especially since I didn’t see my best friend for a month or so when she was sick, and she wasn’t eager to see me at all. Also, there have been a few times where I’ve stayed over at this friend’s house, and her parents have offered for me to stay longer, and she’s snapped at them, telling them that I can’t stay over any longer. I don’t understand if I’m doing something wrong because sometimes she messages things like ‘so excited to see you’ and ‘i miss you’ but it doesn’t seem like she’s telling the truth.

Recently, she told me that we couldn’t hang out this holidays because she was busy, but my mum got a message from her mum inviting me over for a barbecue. Her mum was surprised that I hadn’t heard about it, because this friend was supposed to invite me a while ago.
I really don’t know what to do about this situation because she is my best friend and I would hate to lose her. I messaged a long distance friend for advice, who said that it sounded like my best friend seemed depressed, which makes me feel even worse, because I wish if she was that she would talk to me about it and that I could try to help her.
In the end, I feel like I’m only ever a burden to others and that it might just be better if I was alone instead of getting in the way all the time. But even though I've decided this, I still get super excited if I get a notification, hoping that it's my friend, and then I get this crushing disappointment that I'm all alone, and I never know what to do, I've spent the past few weeks of holidays sitting on my phone in my room and I'm starting to get so tired of life at this point. I don't know what I'm doing wrong someone pls help me

[smallwolf]

Hi Snow Angel,

welcome to beyond blue.

sometimes people are like your friend might not be able to explain their feelings. Or if they it was/is depression might not feel they can explain it to a friend - embarrassment or whatever. We might like them to tell us their problem yet not everyone can do it. And then may want to spend their time alone.

You sound like a very caring and supportive person. At the same time your waiting for that message that does not come, and feeling alone and tired of life. While supporting your friend you can also be doing other things that give you purpose and make you feel good as well. Will you be spending next week with family or friends?

There are resources on the beyond blue web site for supporting someone and has tips for what you can do. You might like to have a look at these for some ideas. One thing you could do is call your friend?

Listening to you,

Tim

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Friendship are complex and often we don’t have the right approach to them as well as having too many expectations.

Imagine you are a water tank. It rains, the tank fills up and leaves and debris rises to the top then gets rejected out the overflow.

The same with friends they come into your life then leave. This goes on all your life and many of them willingly escape NIT BECAUSE THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH YOU...but often for other reasons. We should remember that just because we like a friend the friend might like other people more. Again that isn’t your fault, it’s how human relationships are.

So the ideal attitude that suppressed hurt is to meet new friends. Now say you did that and found a group you have a strong interest with, you might one day not feel to enthusiastic in hanging out with that friend that currently rejects you.

So, meet more people, look up old acquaintances that might be future friends, refrain from chasing people and try to accept that it doesn’t mean it’s your fault.

Life is hard like this. Rejection is hurtful. The more people you meet the more likely you’ll meet better friends. It’s a numbers game.

Im 63yo Recently a school friend I’ve known for 45 years has deliberately stopped contact. It hurts. Then I found out from another friend that he is jealous of me, my vintage car, my house and that I’m not working but he has to. I’m a disability pensioner on 30% of his income and not able to work!! And he is jealous of me?

People change. Move on, find friends worthy of your soft heart

TonyWK