feeling overwhelmed, down, angry, upset, work issues, feel like a failure.

[FiaBusa]

Hi I'm brand new and dont know where to start. I had an excellent career as an intelligence officer with the AFP. I decided to leave that and move on to bigger and better things (or so I thought). my wife and I bought a franchise and they pretty much screwed us over. We lost over 160k in 12 months. It was like a kick in the guts to me. since moving to a coastal area its really hard to find work and has been for the past 6 years. I have had 3 month contracts with gov and even doing traffic control. I def feel like I have wasted a smart brain which makes me feel like a failure to me and my family. every time i try and do the right thing things just dont work out. my wife and my 2 boys (2.5 and 6 months) keep me going and remind me of the fun things in life. I have always worked to my full potential in the workforce only to get screwed over by others. I stand up to the bullies and get punished for it which makes me so irate. I feel down a lot and tend to break down sometimes. my mother passed away last dec and one of my sisters may not see xmas which is a lot to take inn. sometimes i just feel like packing up and just going, getting away from everything and find a place that I have no worries about. I tend to worry about everything and anything. I tend to create jobs for myself at home to try and forget about all the bad stuff, but then i just get overwhelmed with everything i am trying to do. I have so much more to say but its hard to talk about. I am def in a rut of not being happy. I hide it very well, but my wife can see it a mile away. ok thats all for now. im not a huge fan of bothering anyone else with my issues that are so much smaller than so many others out there.

[Quercus]

Hi FiaBusa and welcome to the BB family!

I smiled when you said you don't want to bother anyone with your problems because we've all been there... Feeling like we don't deserve the help and support. But the thing is... You're important. You're feelings are valid. And people care that you're hurting. The loss of a loved one is a massive event. Loss of financial security is huge too especially with little ones to worry about.

So vent to your heart's content. This is your safe place. Your thread to talk about whatever helps you.

First things first... Have you seen your GP lately? Made a long appointment and had an honest chat about whats happening to you? If not...do you think you would? Time to put your health first and ask for some help. You've done the hard part reaching out here... Just print and hand to your GP.

As to work... Be gentle on yourself. So you made a mistake, that sucks but it will be ok. You will find stable work again. If it's been 6 years how about studying to keep your mind busy and get some new skills. Is that an option?

Anyway I won't overwhelm you. Welcome. I'm glad to hear you have a suportive wife and that you are reaching out for help. It will get better 😊

[geoff]

hello FiaBusa, welcome to the site.
Losing that amount of money would have been a real shock and something you would never have expected and would certainly have made an enormous jolt in any progress you were trying to do and would have pulled you and your wife up immediately, I'm sorry that this has happened.
Your brain is still smart it's just that you've been suffered a great loss, but this doesn't wipe out your brain power, all it has done has made it a blur, clouded in knowing what you should be doing next.
The loss of your mother and the sickness of your sister, which I'm terribly sorry about, is so sad but this is is clouding your brain, because what maybe happening is that you could be taking this on board as being something that you couldn't help them with.
Your wife knows exactly how you are feeling, that means your marriage has a great connection and remember you've been through a hell of a lot trauma, but can I ask you to do a couple of things, first of all click 'The Facts' above and click on K-10 test, it's a depression test, do it at different times then you need to see your doctor, and when you go take this test result with you, maybe take your wife with you, I feel as though you really want to have a cry, don't worry I've done this many times.
I hope that you can get back to us, that would be great. Geoff.

[Neil_1]

Hi there fia busa,

I too would like to welcome you to Beyond Blue and to thank you for providing your post.

You’ve had a couple of really good responses so far and I just wanted to add a small bit … I know what you mean by having your wife and 2 children to keep you going. I’m in and have been in a similar situation myself and I guess you don’t realise how much they mean to you; such an important part of your life.

You know, the packing up and moving on, while you’d end up in a different destination, you are still taking your mind and issues with you. Just because you physically move to a new location, it doesn’t mean that your mind and all associated with it, will be bundled up in a massive box and left where you were. Nope, they’ll be coming with you.

What interests, hobbies, music, sports are there that may interest you; things that you can do to help occupy your time a bit more? Just little things, though I s’pose with the kids being so young, they do tend to take up a lot of time of both parents.

Great idea that you’re able to create jobs for yourself, and as I wrote above and how you wrote in your post … it helps to create a distraction for you. Though you did say you get overwhelmed … if that’s the case, try breaking things down a little … set smaller goals, so things don’t become too congested.

Hope that some of this helped.

Neil