Feel so low

[Flossy76]

For many years I’ve been up and down can’t get out of bed, destroyed relationships, abused drugs and alcohol, have no friends and have reached rock bottom.

I feel like my life means nothing.

I feel very isolated. Even though I’m not.

I have an incredibly understanding partner but when I have these episodes he can’t do anything to pull me out.

I have never been diognosed with depression but I know this is what’s happening to me.

How do I stop these days where I feel like I want to just disappear?

days when I can’t get out of bed?

[White_Rose]

Dear Flossy

Welcome to the forum. This is a good place to talk about your feelings and ask questions.

I am sorry you feel you want to disappear. I also have days like this but they are getting less. Trying to stop having bad days is difficult. It may sound like the wrong thing to do but it is easier and more helpful to accept these days and work on ways to manage. Fighting simply uses your energy leaving you exhausted and even more distressed than before.

The first way you learn to manage is to see your GP. Is there a reason you have not done this before? I know many people feel nervous about talking to a doctor because it may confirm our worst fears. The problem with this is that you do not get help, you continue on the same hard journey and find life more and more difficult as you have noted. Getting professional help will not make you well overnight. It will be the start of recovery and bring some hope into your life.

If you go to the BB home page and click on depression you will find lots of information about depression. You can also take the K10 Depression Checklist. It is not a diagnostic tool but will give you an idea of your risk. You can print it out when you have completed it. When you see your doctor it's a good idea to take this checklist to show him/her.

The link will also take you to the various information sheets to download or send for from beyondblue. This information will be sent free of charge. It's always useful to be informed about being unwell and how to help yourself. There is also information for family and friends which you can give to your partner. It details ways to help someone with depression.

Having an understanding partner is a great support but you want to manage more quickly and effectively. Let your GP tell you whether you are seriously depressed or less so. No matter what degree you are depressed you can always get above this with help from your GP, possibly a psychologist and possibly medication. You may be one of those who are nervous about taking meds. So was I and resisted for a while but eventually agreed to try. Antidepressants (AD) can help most people to feel better within a few weeks.

To help with your feeling of isolation try writing here. Also join in other conversations. It's a give and take process which many find helpful and useful. Realising my difficulties were similar to others was a huge boost. I had thought I was the only person who felt like this.

Let me know what you think. I am here most days.

Mary

[baet123]

Hi Flossy,

Welcome to the forums! Thank you for posting and sharing your story with us. This is not easy to do and takes immense courage and bravery and that is amazing and you should be proud!

Sorry to hear that you have been struggling for a while now, however, I can tell you are extremely strong and resilient and these are amazing qualities to possess. It is also extremely encouraging that you have your partner who is there to support you and having that support network around you is super important.

Is there a reason why you have never been diagnosed? Have you ever discussed your feelings and situation with your GP? If you have not spoken to your GP about your condition I think it would be a good idea to do so. You do not deserve to be suffering like you are on a daily basis and I believe everyone deserves to be happy. You deserve to be happy! Speaking to your GP and discussing your treatment options (medication and psychologist sessions under a mental health care plan) I believe will be so beneficial to your situation. When our mental health begins to impact our quality of life, that is the point where health professional intervention is necessary.

You have so much life to live and so much left to give. It is never to late to seek help because you are worth it. To have suffered for as long as you have says a lot about your character and who you are and I think its about time you start feeling happy again and live the life you want and deserve.

When and if you feel comfortable, please book an appointment with your GP. They are there to help you and want to help you. They will provide you with so much useful information and start you on a treatment/mental health care plan immediately. Please let us know if you decide to see your GP and how the consultation goes!

Hope this helped and look forward to hearing from you again,

All the best,

Nick.