Feel like quitting job just one month in

[Julie3392]

Hi all,

I graduated with a degree that I thought would lead me to my dream job, but years in the degree made me realise this isn’t for me. Yet, my degree is so specific that I don’t have a lot of options for a career. After going to a career counsellor, I’ve decided to take on the so called dream job of mine.

Currently a month in, I feel like I’m a burden more than anything, and I don’t always appreciate my boss’ sense of humour (he gives constructive advice plus some destructive words eg you fail, or something sarcastic in front of others to add humiliation). I have made mistakes, but my boss tends to harp on it while the other employers just point it out and let it go after. I’m also so drained by the end of the day, that I just go home, and eat dinner and sleep. I’m trying to lose weight to make myself feel better but it’s so hard at the end of the day, or even at the start. I’m considering going for regular counselling, just to keep myself sane, otherwise I’m not sure how long I can last.

Thanks for the read and I appreciate any advise!

[LesDave]

1. Please don't quit. This is character building. You need to separate yourself from this. Those of us with depression tend to be TOO sensitive. If you were hopeless they would have sacked you already. Making mistakes is part of the process. If you're not making mistakes you're not learning.

2. Forget the 'career' crap. You have a job. Most of us will only ever have jobs, not careers. We get paid money to do stuff because it is boring or difficult and nobody will do it for free. You are there to get cash to do the other stuff in life you want to do. Like save for holidays, a house etc.

3. Sounds like your boss is either an a***hole or doesn't understand motivation. Never mind, you are learning to deal with difficult people. You need to take 'his' personality on as part of your learning. Go watch some videos and try some tactics out about learning to work with this guy. You don't have to be liked, or to like him, you just need a situation where you can work for 8 hours without coming to blows or abuse.

4. With your degree, most employers just look at a degree as a sign you were willing to stick something you hated out for 3 or 4 years and therefore you have stamina and staying power. Use that same logic that got you through those years and now learn 'applying' your craft, and the new experience of working with difficult people.

[Alexlisa]

Hi Julie,

It sounds like you’re having a tough time, so I’m really glad you reached out here.

I think the most important thing to remind yourself is that it’s only been a month. Starting a new job is a super stressful life event and usually takes between 3 and 6 months to settle into. At the moment you must be right in the midst of trying to learn how the workplace operates, your role, the different dynamics and relationships between people, even just simply getting too and from work would all be new. These are big adjustments you’re facing and I think most people would be freaking out a fair amount. I would be for sure!

It sounds like your boss is making it even harder by being difficult and confrontational. To be honest, he doesn’t sound very professional. And maybe this will be an issue moving forward, or is it likely to improve once you’re more settled into your role? How is his relationship with others?

I think that LesDave is right about maybe not thinking about it too much as a ‘career’ and more just as a job. It might take some of the pressure off your shoulders. These days people switch jobs, workplaces, industries so frequently that any decision about the direction you want to head in the future is wide open. Just because you have this job right now doesn’t mean you will have to (or should) stay and maybe in the future you’ll want to study something completely different.

Please give it some more time before you decide what to do. If you’ve only just graduated i’m guessing that you’re quite young and have plenty of time ahead of you to work out what you want/need. But you also need to take care of yourself in this time. Do you have people in your life you could talk to about how you’re feeling? Are there things that you enjoy doing that make you feel more grounded and refreshed? There are lots of ideas online about how to practice self-care and I think it’s so important for you at the moment. If you do decide to quit your job, that’s ok too. Not everything works out in life and we learn each time more about ourselves and what we need. Only you can know what’s best for you at the moment.

Take care

Alexlisa

[Nothappyuni]

Hi Julie3392,

If your uni was anywhere near as bad as mine is, then your job is a walk in the park by comparison.

I worked for years as a trainee in my dream job when I left school. The company I worked for needed to know you wanted the job, more than anything in the world, and paid $3.00 an hour. I stuck it out for three years and found the job was not what I thought it would be. I was shattered.

Over the years I have had many jobs, and one thing I can say is that you have to stay a lot longer than a month, to know if it is going to work or not.

When I signed up to uni, I was aware my new direction might not be everything I hoped it would be. So I built in a backup career. You may be very surprised where your degree could take you, if in six months time you still feel the same. I know store managers with Bachelor degrees in: English, Engineering, Sociology and Psychology. The co-ordinator for outdoor events in this area has a Masters in Psychology and the head of a cleaning department has a Bachelor of Engineering specialising in computer programming. Employers saw the degree and gave them the job, even though the degree had no bearing on the work.

I envy you, no more assignments! 4 years of full time study (not one fail) and I am over it!

[Julie3392]

Thank you guys for replying!

LesDave, Alexlisa and Nothappy@uni, thank you so much for your advice. I’ve always had the notion that people should do what they love, but you are right that it doesn’t have to be our work. Of course it’s a bonus, but unless the job’s really unbearable, it’s just a way of supporting ourselves and loved ones.

With regards to my boss, yes it seems like that’s just the way he is. It could just be me, but I do sense there’s some tension in the air when he’s there. Of course me being the least experienced of the team, I make the most mistakes and hence bearing most of the sarcastic remarks he has to make. The others would warn me not to do certain things cause my boss gets mad, but they just do things their way anyway, probably not in front of him.

I do intend to stay for at least a year for the sake of my CV and experience. Going home to rest and talking to my friends and family (and of course ranting here) definitely helps. So I really appreciate your advises 🙂 and yes I’m in my late 20s so still have many (hopefully) years ahead of me haha.

nothappy@uni, sorry to hear that you’re not enjoying University. Even though I said I didn’t think I’d like what I learnt about the profession, I still think uni was probably the best time of my life, particularly the first 3 of my total of 7 years at Uni (yes taking into account the assignments and exams). Honestly, if I didn’t have to worry so much about earning a living, I’d have studied for another degree. But the good thing if you aren’t enjoying it is that it doesn’t last. But still, appreciate student life while you still can cause working life isn’t always better.