I'm an aspiring actor and musician. I work odd jobs to pay my way in between artistic pursuits. I like working - a lot. It gives one a feeling of belonging and accomplishment. Unfortunately, a lot of the jobs involve working in less than inspiring environments and with some vicious personalities. I'm quite a sensitive soul. I don't mind hard work, in fact I like it, as long as there are positive people around me. I don't belittle people and when someone belittles me I find that after all this time, I shouldn't have to put up with someone judging me and making me feel small. I think I have depression. Or anxiety. Or a mixture of the two. I exercise - intensely. But I'm easily tired of late, and I think it's down to the dire financial situation I'm in. To think that there's an audition round the corner which will propel me into a successful acting career seems highly unlikely. I don't want to be the result of a typical failed actor who ended up a drop out. But I'm in such a solitary position. And there's only so much rejection a person can take. Especially in a big city where money is king and without it one is a useless tramp. I don't drink alcohol anymore. I thought this may help. I don't know where to turn. I don't know if there's anywhere to turn anymore. I'm sick of being a second rate citizen.
