Does Life Get Better?

[DisplayName5742]

Hello,

So, my life has gone down the drain. When I tell myself I'm managing okay, well everything goes pear-shaped. My partner and myself are having to move out of the unit we're living in as both of us lost our jobs last year and we haven't been able to find anything else since. They have somewhere to go, but I don't. I can't go live as their parents as the parents don't like me. They think I'm only interested in my partner for money. I fell for my partner when he didn't have a job.

Having been in a similar situation in the past I do have someone I can contact regarding emergency accommodation, and I have an appointment booked with them on Monday. I've tried asking my friends, and the response has been "no." There's also the matter of Centerlink enforcing a new rule regarding partners, as a result the only way I can get anything is to say I don't have a partner. Even if we're not living together I can't get anything because my partner should be able to support me. As I've been told by my case manager at the emergency accommodation office.

Probably left a lot out, but to sum it up: I'm going to be homeless (even if I get into emergency accommodation, which will make me "legally homeless") in a matter of weeks, and I may not be able to get any assistance just because I have a partner. I can't get work, and I don't have any formal qualifications.

Since I've been in a similar situation before I'm wondering, does life ever get better? Or should I just stop trying?

I think that sums it up. Not sure though. Hard to think clearly... Or at all really.

DisplayName5742

[blondguy]

Hi DisplayName5742

To answer your thread topic question .....Yes it does!!

I feel your isolation DM especially where Centerlink is concerned, and thats tough to go through (understatement of the decade)

Can I ask if you have even a small support network of 1 or 2 people that can help you out in this difficult time?

You are a well articulated and intelligent person. I am sorry that you have been in this place before DM5742

Can I ask what happened to your last job?

The forums are a Safe and Non judgmental place for you to post DisplayName.

I dont blame you for not being able to think clearly DisplayName...I wouldnt be able to either

We are excellent listeners and can provide the best support we possibly can

you are not alone

my kind thoughts

Paul

[DisplayName5742]

Hello Paul,

Thanks for replying.

One of the people I asked to stay with is trying to help me out. Unfortunately they've never suffered much in the way of hardship (their own words) so it's hard for them to understand how I'm feeling. Otherwise my support network is my partner, and that's it.

Okay, I'll start off by saying I shouldn't have reacted to everything the way I did, but as you keep reading you may understand why I did. I was never happy at this workplace. My manager was almost always absent. The only other manager was a manager of a partner business, and didn't care about me or the business I worked for, even though they were owned by the same person. When my manager was there he would be openly annoyed with me for anything, and would never stay long (my absent manager was the owner). The workers of the other business (b1 and the place I work will be known as b2) didn't like having to do work for b2 and didn't hide it at all. I was also in charge of managing a team, something I had never done before and wasn't trained in, in fact this place didn't train at all.

On my last day there I was getting a lot of comments thrown my way from the people at b1, while having a customer scream at me over the phone (they were calling every ten minutes) and there was no one else in b2 who could answer the phones. I'll admit I did stuff up with the booking for this customer, fortunately I was able to get someone out there on that day, but it wasn't enough. Without a manager there to help me, and all the near constant comments, I snapped. I yelled at b1's workers briefly before stepping out of the office. I was instructed to leave for the day and was fired the next day.

It's hard to apply for other customer service based jobs after all of that, but with where I live those are majority of jobs on offer. It scares me. I don't want to deal with customers again.

When I got my first job winding up in the same situation was my greatest fear, and I'm living it. It can be almost paralyzing.

Hope this all makes sense. Thanks again.

DisplayName5742

[SammyB]

Hey DisplayName5742,

Sorry that you are in a tough spot at the moment. It’s must be really hurtful to have those around you not support or understand you during this difficult time, but I’m glad that you have found someone to help you out. Hopefully their support will provide you with the opportunity to sort out next steps. During this time, let the forums be an outlet for you to release some of your thoughts and feelings about these new changes in your life. We are here for you.

Your previous work environment sounds quite stressful and I can see why the fear of being in the same situation again can feel so daunting. Even with your experiences at work being quite negative, it’s great that you have had the experience of managing a team and once again shows your ability to adapt to situations and your continued perseverance. You have been in this situation before and have come out the other side. Also, as you have mentioned in your other thread (Depression/Constant Internal and External Struggles) if a particular opportunity doesn’t go your way, don’t let it define you, as it's still an experience which you can build on and use as motivation to keep pushing forward.

Keep reaching out and let us know how we can be of support to you.

Sammy

[DisplayName5742]

Hey Sammy,

It is hard not having those around me understand, just need to remember at the end of the day there's people around specifically to help people out of such situations. There's going to be a lot of changes in the next few weeks. Quite scary.

Yeah, I just need to remember that quote, can be hard at times though, the day I first posted this is a prime example. Need to remember as well that there's something I'm working toward, and I can't do that if I let everything get the better of me.

After everything that has been going on I feel emotionally exhausted today.

I'll keep pushing along. If I do feel the same way I did when I started this I guess I'll put another post here?

Thanks for the reply.

Regards,
DisplayName5742

[SammyB]

Hey DisplayName5742,

Sorry for the late reply. I hope things are moving forward for you and that you have been able to have some support with adapting to all the changes in your life? Change can be very scary but remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. Would be great to hear how you are going.

Sammy

[paranoid_android]

Anybody that tells you that life gets better is lying to themselves and you.

Life does not get better, you do.

It's hard. Really hard. The world is an extremely unfair and unforgiving place. That never changes but through dedication, personal growth and the sheer force of will (not to mention luck) your ability to cope and function in it does. I say this primarily because it's easy to get stuck in a mindset that somehow life will just suddenly 'get better'. It won't, but it can if you make it.

[DisplayName5742]

Hey SammyB and paranoid_android,

Going to reply to the both of you here, hope that's okay.

Firstly, sorry for the extremely late reply, since I last posted I've moved, got a job and managed to sort out Centrelink, while keeping on top of my Uni.

SammyB, things are moving forward very quickly now, been great to have a support network with everything else going on. Admittedly I was petrified for a time, still scared but adjusting to everything. Doing a lot better than I was when I first made this post.

paranoid_android, yeah, that's true about people getting stuck in that mindset and I'll admit it can be damaging at points. However, I'm not really the person to sit and wait for an opportunity to knock, I can and will work for the life I want. I do have my off days/weeks, when I'm at my worst I post on here, to get it all out.

While I do believe life can get better, I also agree it has to be worked for and won't happen overnight.

Thanks both of you for your replies.

Regards,
DisplayName5742