Depressed and sadness

[SilvaLady]

Hello,

This is the first time I'm posting a new thread.

I have been depressed for a number of years now. The anxiety that comes with it, makes it even harder. Often I burst into tears for no apparent reason and my thought patterns are often negative. I tend to be hard on myself, though knowing that it is not "my fault" that I feel like this.

To top it off, I found out yesterday that the Nursing Home I work is closing. I'm in my early 50's and the prospect of having to look for work, is daunting.

I don't know what to do at the moment.

SilvaLady

[Croix]

Dear SilvaLady~

It seems our reading tastes are very close, I've read both authors. All the Earth's Children series, which I found excellent wiht the exception that Ayla seems to have invented everything from the wheel to modern medicine, A bit hopeful, however the settings and authenticity of the technolofies and lifestyles make up for it. My favorite Raymond Feist book is Faerie Tale, unusual for me as not a series.

Yes it does make sense to be reserved wiht your parents, if in the past htey have always given more attention to your siblings why would you leave yourself open?

You do sound more cheerful. Are you getting professional help writing your job applications? I found there was an awful lot I did not know until I had some help -good luck BTW.

If your psych and you click that makes a huge difference, you can let out all the things you feel. I've been lucky that way, is yours good too?

Croix

[SilvaLady]

Hello Croix,

I haven't read the book Faery Tales, but have read most of his other books. The Magician being one of my favourites.

I spoke to my mother this morning and I have told her that my workplace was closing. As soon I told she started telling of what I should be doing and one of the comments that she made was that I "was getting older and less likely of getting a job due to my age". In some ways I think I regret of telling her, as it feels like that she telling me how to live my life. I know that she trying to help me, but the way she was talking to me, it made me feel like a child who can't make for themselves.

I have seen my doctor this morning, she gave me a referral to see the same psych that I have seen for the last year. I found that I have a good connection with my psych. She cares and has giving me some good techniques to use. I also came across there, while I waited for my appointment. It's called " I Power, the freedom to be me". Author : George Dieter. It's a good read, with some good pointers.

I do feel better, thanks. I find it a good release of coming here and to able to talk ( write) to other people is good. It almost feels like that I'm writing into a diary and the diary responds back. I know it's an odd way of saying that. I still get sad at times and the anxiety/depression is still there, but it is becoming a bit easier to with it. Also having the knowledge that I can see my psych on a more regular basis due to the referral my doctor gave me. I have been looking at some of the other forums, I haven't joined in most of those conversations, I have taken away some useful hints of dealing with my feelings and thought patterns.

I have spoken to one of the ladies from another company and she has giving me some pointers of fixing my resume. I have also applied for another job this morning. I'm not very good of waiting and being patient to find out if I got the job or not. It's not one of strong points at the moment.

Take care,

SilvaLady

[Croix]

Dear SilvaLady~

I guess most of waht you say above is pretty good news. Job applications are in some ways as stylized as a cooking menu, the covering letter composition, the most important section covering all the criteria listed plus annexures all have their own unwritten rules, as does having a story that makes you shine up your sleeve to trot out in the interview.

Waiting on a response is horrible, and lasts for ages. Some companies don't even bother to reply and you are left hanging, however reputable ones will come back to you.

I find the best thing to do is not to hang on a response, but try elsewhere too. Once the application has been sent I try to go to the next and temporarily forget it (I do a fair number for various matters, often with success)

I think the conversation with you mother was helpful, after all you can now (if you did not before) see that her actions and words are inappropriate (plus needlessly and erroneously discouraging). When someone you know is on the wrong track says something it is easier to disregard.

I too enjoyed the Magician series. The framework around Pug's abilities seemed logical and consistent.

Getting back to your psych is good, particular wiht the extra pressure on you until you get a new job.

Journalling or diary is a well established method of dealing with things , as I'm sure you know, plus it keeps an ongoing record you can use to look back and see consistent triggers and cycles. Very useful.

Croix (a.k.a. diary that answers back:)

[SilvaLady]

Hello Croix.

I know I haven't been on for a few days, but I thought I might keep you updated. I have been back to see my DR and she advised to keep up with the meds for my anxiety. She also put me on a MHP with my Psych, which starts in November. Job hunting is still going, but I'm trying to stay positive, knowing that something will turn up.

I have tried other things to overcome my anxiety/depression, which seem to help.

Somehow I seem to be happier within myself, knowing that I'm not alone in the struggle of the anxiety/depression. I know that everybody has they own stories and struggles of this illness.

I just wanted to thank you and everyone here in BB for the support .

With many thanks,

SilvaLady

[SilvaLady]

Hello,

The medication that my doctor put me on is helping. Also my Dr put me on a MHCP, which I start at the beginning of November with my Psych. The only thing I'm struggling with at the moment is the lonely feeling I get. I have looked into the forums about that, but it seems to deal with either younger people or people in the rural areas. As you know I'm in my early 50's ( I think I mentioned this before, but not sure) and it doesn't seem anything for that age, or I couldn't find it. I don't want to be a burden to family or friends, as most of them have their own problems.

I just keep feeling that I may be a "burden" here on BB or to my friends and family. I know I'm not alone in feeling this. I just want to know if there is a thread for people in their early 50's to talk about this and loneliness.

Many thanks

SilvaLady

[Croix]

Dear SlivaLady~

I'm very pleased for you the meds are helping and you have a MH Plan starting shortly, all good moves .

Feeling a burden is something a lot of us do from time to time, in my case caused by bouts of depression.. strangely enough if I later ask the persons concerned if I was in fact a burden they all say no.

Apart from anything else most people like to help - it is built in to many. Provided they just listen, and not try to offer impractical quick fixes, then it works out fine.

You are no burden here, this is exactly the right place to talk of how things are and how you feel.

You did ask about an age-related thread, I think you will find the following interesting (plus not all on it are actually 60 anyway)

Forums / Staying well / Does "life Begin at 60"

I'm afraid my memory is not good enough to remember that far back 😞

Croix

[SilvaLady]

I don't feel as depressed that much more anymore, more I feel more sadness. It finally hit me that my workplace has closed. I don't know if depression and sadness works hand in hand, but at the moment I'm not coping to well.

Majority of the nurses that I had worked with, resulted in the fact that they got jobs. I had left looking for jobs until later, which may have resulted of not me getting not a job. I feel that I have left it to late for that.

Have got an interview on Monday, which may more rewarding than I realized.

Am trying to stay positive, exploring different things to keep me more balanced,

Cheers

[Croix]

Dear SilvaLady~

Sorry for the delay, not been able to post for a few days.

Frankly I think it only natural you fell great sadness your workplace is no more. It is huge thing in one's life, not only the routine and wages, but the interactions with people and workmates, your hopes and fears, thngs you thought about that could have been improved, all finished, at least for now.

Getting another job will happen, you are in the industry for it, even if it takes a little while, plus you already have network of friends who will sing out if they hear of anything.

By now I guess you have had that interview -maybe waiting on a result (something I hate).

Can I suggest yo divide each day up so job-seekng takes up only a part, maybe early mornings, the you do other non related things the rest of the day, to help with that balance

Croix

[SilvaLady]

Hello Croix,

I hope that things are getting better in your life. I realize that it can be a struggle to help other people, when you have got your own private struggles to deal with. Thank you again for trying supportive towards me and other people on this forum.

First of all, the first interview was with an agency. I didn't hear too many good stories about it, so I cancelled the interview. Then I got a second interview with another agency, which resulted of me getting a job with them. Although I had waited for the usual things, like references and such, it gave a good feeling that I had a job.

It gave me some time to relax and trying to de-stress. As for the network of friends, they told me of various places that were looking for nurses. All of these places I already applied, but have not heard back from them. Only one place informed me that I wasn't successful, only to advertise this week that another opening for a nurse for the company became available. How disappointing.

For your last advice, I have been only spending little of time looking for a job, if you can call it that (since I'm starting a job soon) .

So for the time being, I'm spending some "me" time and do whatever I feel like doing whenever I'm ready.

Cheers

SilvaLady

[Croix]

Dear SilvaLady~

Thanks for thinking of me, that was kind. I had no hassles, just had to do other things for a few days that did not give me the opportunity to post. By and large I'm pretty good.

You sound better too. Getting that job wiht the agency must have been a great load off your mind. Even so you may decide to keep looking for somethng that really 'clicks' with you. Do you have any particular preferences?

Do you have anything special in that 'me' time oyu look forward to? I use books and movies, I can really look forward to continuing a book from where I left off.

Croix