Depressed and sadness

[SilvaLady]

Hello,

This is the first time I'm posting a new thread.

I have been depressed for a number of years now. The anxiety that comes with it, makes it even harder. Often I burst into tears for no apparent reason and my thought patterns are often negative. I tend to be hard on myself, though knowing that it is not "my fault" that I feel like this.

To top it off, I found out yesterday that the Nursing Home I work is closing. I'm in my early 50's and the prospect of having to look for work, is daunting.

I don't know what to do at the moment.

SilvaLady

[Croix]

Der SlivaLady~

As it happens I've already posted you a message concerning talking with others in

Forums / Treatments, health professionals and therapies / First time seeking professional help

At that time I did not know of this post, however what I said there I still think applies.

Having your place of work close is a real trial, though I'm not sure that your age is a bar to getting other position, and yes it can appear daunting to go out seeking.

May I ask if you are in close contact with oyur medical team? It can be quite easy to simply accept what you are first told, go with the first set of treatments and think it normal if you till do not get a great deal of relief.

I think you said you had started obtaining medical help a couple of years ago, finding you are still crying and feeling so negative after this length of time would make me want to have things reviewed. People react in differing ways and there is often a need to change regimes with circumstances.

Actually now would be an ideal time as you have the extra pressures of job seeking and maybe finances too. Under those circumstances your coping skills need to be as robust as possible.

Do you have a network of freinds who might be able to help you find a position elsewhere?

From knowing my relatives I get the impression that Nursing Homes are not closing en masse, quite the opposite. I'd expect the influx of baby boomers will help too.

Not knowing what to do? May I suggest you try to divide up a portion of your life just for you, with something you enjoy to take your mind away from the problems of life. I use movies and books, I don't know what would work for you , the point being to get a little respite each day to help you face problems invigorated .

Croix

[SilvaLady]

Hello Croix,

Thank you for replying.

I do know couple of people that I work with, that work in other homes. I have already considered that. I also I have considered working for a nursing agency, which I have done in the past.

As with the Doctor's, at the end of last year, the doctor I was seeing left. He didn't put me on medication, as I was drinking and he wanted for me to stop drinking before he would give me medications. Only recently, when I went to see my new doctor, and when I told her how I felt, she did give me some medication to me. But I found that the medication seemed to raise my blood pressure. I'm seeing her again at the beginning of October.

I'm also seeing a Psychologist, which helps.

I'm glad that I finally found the courage to join this forum. It makes me feel that I'm not alone with this struggle and yes I know that a lot of people have said the same thing. Sometimes I wish that it wouldn't take so long.

I enjoy reading, but don't have many books. I have good collection of DVD's, which I will try and watch soon. I also have a hobby, which is cross stitching. I used to enjoy that, especially since I have count the stitches. I just have to find the motivation of doing this.

Many thanks Croix for being and trying to help.

SilvaLady

[Croix]

Dear SilvaLady~

My late wife and another very close member of my family were/are nurses and I know how some have related to agency nursing, they found it hard not to be giving long-term care in some ways but also found they were in demand and earned very reasonable wages.

After a while being faced with a new hospital/ward/home ceased to be daunting as experience took over. What do your freinds think?

I'd imagine the Royal Commission into Aged Care Quality and Safety will actually increase the demand for qualified permanent nursing staff in institutions too.

I'm please you have both a GP and a psychologist to help, I found that without such support I simply spiraled down, also that your GP has what might be regarded as a more realistic approach - and no I am in no way endorsing alcohol as a problem solver, or as a mix with prescription meds - I'm more than sure you know of this already.

Can I suggest if your BP is on the rise it might be prudent to seek an earlier appointment? It took me a long time to find the regimen that worked without side effects, for me it has been possible with patience and time, and I'm streets ahead of how I was. I lead a life with so much less anxiety or depression, something I'd not have believed possible if told earlier on.

I think your approach is a wise one, and as for courage, I think you need that in your vocation anyway and the way you talk about your upcoming life changes leads me to think you have it in spades.

If it took you a litle while to come here don't feel you are alone in that . It took me a great deal of soul searching to start posting here rather than just reading. Having done so the sense of community and understanding has been wonderful. No long explanations, one can almost talk shorthand, and this is a place where everyone here is voluntary. It has an atmosphere of a genuine desire to help

So no, you are not alone at all.

Books? Many libraries have on-line lending. You select the book then download it to read or listen on your computer tablet or phone. Once you master logging on and selecting it becomes trivial to obtain fresh reading. My library took the time to explain in a phone call how to do this

I do not do cross stitch but do a lot of cataloging, and find this a pleasant undemanding chore that allows me to listen to radio comedy at the same time. Surprisingly refreshing

The motivation may end up being simple enjoyment. The division away from work - or job seeking - I beleive is important

Croix

[Des_Cartes]

Hi Silvalady,

Is there a job agency you could give your details to, given you now have experience working in the nursing home sector? You may find that your skills are in demand.

I experience similar issues often and find that starting to take control of the major issue of immediate concern helps to empower me in dealing with the feelings of anxiety and despair.

I really hope you also keep reaching out for help, here and elsewhere.

[SilvaLady]

Hello to Croix and Des,

medical gest is an ongoing process. Job vice is still ongoing process.

For last few days I have been feeling better than I would have.

Am still not sure as when to start looking for a job, as I don't want to miss out the payments.

Still got few weeks to consider.

Thank you for your support.

SilvaLady

[SilvaLady]

Hi Croix,

thank you for your advice. I know alcohol is not a problem-solver, especially when taking meds. I'm just so tired of feeling so down, feeling sad and tired with putting up with my negative thoughts. I try to stay positive, but that doesn't seem to help much at the moment. Also I'm tired of putting on a "brave face" when I'm going to work, also knowing that I'm not the only one at work to suffer with anxiety or depression.

I know it's not an excuse for drinking, but I just want to forget for number of hours.

I will look into the library online, to see what is there.

I also enjoying playing video games, which I found that it will quite often take my negative thoughts away.

Especially if I have the television on as well, which seem to occupy mind, since I have to concentrate on playing games and listen to the television.

Thank you again for your advice and talking to me.

SilvaLady

[Croix]

Dear SilvaLady~

I'm not nagging over the drink, I understand. I just hope you will in time find a healthier alternative. I was "lucky" in a way, saw so much of its bad effects in the police (both in the force and in the public) I went the other way. You would not have had that spur. Made me take more meds instead.

To concentrate on something more cheerful what sort of games? Solo or multiplayer, military or detective or social building? Bit like me except I dived into books.

Some games are now becoming movies as are some comix. I enjoyed Wonder Woman, and Ghost in the Shell, both in print and the movies.

As for having the TV on at the same time, I could not concentrate (my spouse says males are only capable of thinking of one thing at a time, May she is right:(

Croix

[SilvaLady]

Hello Des,

Yes I have considered agency work, as I have worked for an agency before. I just wanted to take a step back and consider my options. At this stage I have a number of options, which I won't commit to at this stage, but will within the next couple weeks.

Thanks again for your advice,

SilvaLady

[SilvaLady]

Hello Croix,

I have some time to consider what you have said.

I've looked into online library, but so far I've not found what I wanted online. But I've found few things to read in a library. I'm a fan of David Eddings and I have found some books in the series, which I have taken out to read.

As for games, it's more solo. Most of it, it's Harvest Moon/ Rune Factory games.

I have found that since I started to read, I'm starting to feel better.

Also with work, since I decided to "to take a step back", I'm starting to feel "better'.

I know it sounds weird, but since I decided that I can't control what happens or what other people at work think of me.

For the time being, I enjoy feeling better.

As for what happens in the near future, I try not to worry.

I know that this sounds strange, but I try to put my trust in the future, knowing/hopefully that things will turn out for the better.

SilvaLady