Hi Rod
Your frustration comes across loud and clear, your disappointment too. I truly feel for you, as I can relate to certain triggers that can swing me into a depression, which can sometimes feel impossible to get out of.
You've led me to wonder. I'm easily triggered to wonder by the way. I'm an obsessive wonderer😁 Apparently, according to google, there are a number of studies currently underway involving research into the link between covid and depression. A common area appears to involve the immune system and how it, depending on the circumstances, can lead people to feel depressed. Could be a factor.
Being one of those mind/body/spirit woo woo gals, I'll often research mental factors, physical/biological/chemical factors and natural factors for why I can be incredibly depressed at times. The mental factors can involve train of thought which can be hard to disembark from especially while traveling through some seriously dark tunnels. Limited thinking is another one, which wonder helps manage. The physical factors can involve any of the body's energy systems (immune, nervous, endocrine, metabolic etc). With chemistry containing certain types of energy for function, when the chemistry's not there or not producing the best reactions, you can feel it. Naturally, we're designed as energetic creatures. Whether you're looking at it from a natural perspective of from the perspective of quantum physics, figuring out why your vibing low or why your cells aren't vibrating with enough energy to the point where you can feel yourself as a positive powerhouse can take some detective work.
Have you considered looking into getting some blood work done (see how your chemical energy's going), now that you're on the path to physical recovery? Iron, b12, thyroid deficiencies etc can trigger depression. I found this to be the case with b12 deficiency. Wondering whether your immune system's in need of recharging.
