Welcome to the Forums and thank you for sharing here. It sounds like you are sitting with some difficult feelings and we are glad that you have been able to reach out to our lovely community here.
It can all feel really overwhelming. If you’re not sure what your next steps are, or just want to talk through what you’re feeling right now, we’d highly recommend calling the Beyond Blue Support Line on 1300 22 4636. The counsellors there are super kind and supportive, they’re understanding and can be great to talk to when things are tough. You can also reach them via web chat.
Doing the things that make us feel happy or balanced is so important. Is there anything that makes you feel this way?
Here’s a few things it might be helpful to look at in case you were interested:
Having times of not feeling our best does not mean that we are not worthy, loveable and capable people (as much as those thoughts can make us feel that way).
Thank you again for sharing here. It can be really hard to do that, and so we hope you can feel some pride in having done so.
Those waves can be so horrible. They're even worse when they come with a truly brutal form of inner dialogue that can be so incredibly tough to manage. My heart goes out to you as you work so hard to make sense of it and manage it all at the same time. Such hard work at times.
Anytime you want to come back for a chat, give yourself the freedom to do just that. Even if it's just for a vent. Helps to find whatever works.