Confusion

[Boodu]

Hey,

First time posting. Ok, so this is somewhat difficult to explain, I’ve never been to a doctor for mental help but it is on the horizon. I’ve recently opened up to my wife and parents about my mental problems that I’ve been having.

I’m currently having problems with my mind constantly creating scenarios and thinking of the worst possible situation that scenario could be and getting me worked up to the point that I get really angry with what has happened even though the situation isn’t real and possibly won’t become real. Constant negative thoughts.

It’s really starting to affect me. It gets me depressed quite regularly and I really need to learn to think of positive situations.

Does anyone have any tips on how to switch on a positive mindset? Meditation? Yoga?

I do realise that this post quite possibly makes no sense but ask me any questions and I’ll answer as best I can to assist

FYI - I’m not into seeing a doctor for medication. Nothing against people who take it, it’s just not something I’m willing to do.

Cheers

[Guest_598]

Hello Boodu,

welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your experience with us! 🙂

I am not an expert myself but since I can relate to your experience, especially the focus on the worst case scenario, I could imagine that your concerns may be related to anxiety. If so, please do not fret, there are a lot of things that can really help and it does not have to be a debilitating condition.

As you already mention, you are on the right track regarding meditation, yoga or seeing professional help. I suffer from anxiety quite a bit sometimes, especially when there are exceptionally stressful times or events in my life. Do you have any of these, maybe a demanding job, home life, etc.?

For me, I must say that a mix of professional help (i.e. seeing a psychologist) and mindfulness exercises is great. There are some great free apps, e.g. Headspace or Dare. They teach you how to use mindfulness to calm your mind and thoughts. It is all about managing your thoughts through breathing, relaxation and conscious effort. I find that quite helpful, especially when I get into a bit of a panic state. The psychologist is great because it allows me to freely talk about my concerns. Often, I am the one that talks so much that in the end I find my own solution. I like that because it holds more value that way, rather than having someone tell you everything.

I am not sure what you do work-wise but a lot of companies have employee assistance programs (EAP) which offer you a certain amount of free sessions with a professional psychologist or counsellor. And if that is not an option, you could consider going to your GP and asking for a mental health care plan with a referral to a psychologist. That way, Medicare will pay a fair bit of the sessions.

I hope this helps you a little but please do not hesitate to write more. I guess the good news is that there are definitely a lot of things you can do to get relief and feel better again. 🙂 Please look after yourself and write again! 🙂

[Boodu]

Yeah you could say that I have a rather stressful life.

Running my own business where I’m the only employee and busy all the time, 2 x stepkids whose fathers contribute nothing, 1 of them just got their license and also the interest of a boy, and two of my own babies both under 16 months old.

So right now I am really stressed, but in saying that I have had these problems on and off for a long time (years).

It’s just starting to really affect me and my family.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Boodu,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for joining us - I'm really glad that you're looking at getting some help since it sounds like you've been struggling with it for a while.

AussieGal81 gave some great advice - and if you're looking at meditation that can definately be a great way to go.

Mindfulness might also be something to think about - since it's something you can do anytime/anywhere (especially if you're stretched for time). The idea behind it is working on paying attention to things non-judgementally, but people can be 'mindfully washing dishes' or 'mindfully going for a walk'. The other benefit of this as well as meditation is that it shrinks the part of our brain responsible for fear (which also takes responsibility for those 'what if' thoughts).

AussieGal81 mentioned a psychologist - is this something you'd be open to doing or thinking about? I don't think it's more of 'have a positive mindset' but rather to find some techniques and tools to deal with these thoughts. You can be the most positive person in the world and still struggle with these 'what if' thoughts; but there are definitely ways to manage them and get on top of them so it doesn't have to have such an impact on you.

RT

[White_Rose]

Dear Boodu

Hello. I join Romantic and AussieGal in welcoming you to the forum. You will find many people here have some sort of anxiety problem so do not be discouraged or feel you are the only one dealing with this.

Both Romantic and AussieGal have given you some great pointers. I hope you will follow up on these. Medication is not mandatory. There are situations where it is advisable but this is something to discuss with your GP who will support regardless of taking meds or not. Seeing a psychologist can be very helpful so getting a mental health plan and having the fees partially refunded through Medicare.

I have a similar condition about anxiety. It's not because I imagine the worst case but because I remember past experiences. But like your experience, these thoughts creep in before I notice and I am deep into the horrible stuff. It's not a case of having a positive mindset because it's not easy to get away from our thoughts. They are not called intrusive thoughts for nothing and can be difficult to shift by willpower alone.

Mediation , which I practice, and mindfulness are very useful tools. They need to be practised daily as it's not a case of simply swapping to meditation or mindfulness when you get the horrible thoughts. Meditating daily and practising mindfulness in as much of your daily work as possible helps your brain to learn new pathways and avoid the distressing bits. If you want to see how this happens please google neuroplasticity. It's the way the brain can refigure itself to avoid going down old pathways that only lead to distress.

I think it would still help you to have a few chats to a psychologist and perhaps this is one aspect you can discuss.

Mary