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Confused and numb

Emptymanu
Community Member

Hi there,

I am not sure whether I am in right place or not? But being in a health professional I feel something is not right within me. I was a very cheerful person, who always like to talk, be competitive in everything, I wanted to be noticed always till I was 21. Then I don't know it's maturity or any issues I have started to change. Firstly, I became quite, then afraid to speak. More than that I am not happy in any of my decision. Everybody outside says how perfect my life is like getting an amazing family, husband, in-laws, doing good in studies, career no physical illness, employed, no deformity yet I don't know I do not have any confidence. I have no confidence in my work. I feel like I am not good enough in my work. I do have the confidence to speak with people. Suddenly an outgoing person became anti-social. I don't like to party, dress up for myself. I don't take care of my body, skin. I don't feel pleasure anymore. I do take a lot of stress but I have nothing to be sad but still I can't be happy. My husband tries his best to make me happy but no I don't know what’s wrong with me. Everyone around me is so happy and proud of me but deep inside I feel I have no talent, I can't be friendly and I am a trouble to my family. I don't say I am depressed but what’s wrong with me? Can anyone tell me? What’s wrong with me?

6 Replies 6

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Emptymanu, can we offer you a warm welcome and if I can say how awful and devastating when a situation like this slowly overtakes you.

Even though you are learning a new experience, it's not one you could ever recommend as good advice, because it doesn't matter how well others say you are doing, it's actually how lost you are feeling and don't know why.

You can't necessarily say to yourself that you're not depressed, that's should be left to your doctor to say, because when we diagnose ourselves, a different interruption is formed.

Allow yourself to visit your doctor so they can give you a diagnosis and then decide with you a plan of action.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.

yggdrasil
Community Member

Hi Emptymanu,

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. It's so hard when this sort of thing happens, but like Geoff says talking to a doctor you trust is a good first step. They can do things like set up a Mental Health Care Plan, which enables 12 free visits to a psychologist or social worker per year.

I'm no expert, but the kind of thing you're experiencing does sound like depression to me, which is very common. Lots of different cultures have described these sorts of symptoms in different ways through time I think, even if they didn't call it depression. E.g. the French talk about "malaise".

I think mental health issues like depression can take different, surprising forms for different people. The first time I got really depressed I thought I had the swine flu, because I felt sick for over 3 months, and could barely get out of bed. It was much more about complete physical depletion, and feeling utterly overwhelmed, than it was about being "doom and gloom" or the other things I imagined about depression.

Whatever we call these difficult experiences however, it's so good to reach out for help, and thank you for posting on these forums! Are you doing much exercise at the moment? That can be a way to get the blood flowing and get you out of your head a little bit.

Hi everyone!!

I am thinking all of your suggestions. Thank you. And yah I don't have any energy to do anything including my assignment or exercises. I wake up early but I don't know how I ended up in bed for like 11 am cuz I don't feel like getting up and doing anything. Also, I am new to Australia and I am an international student. And I don't know much about services for mental health . How can I get help without telling my husband? I don't want him to know this phase of my life. And a few questions. Does depression lower your confidence? Make you feel worthless especially with ur job? I am confused about which path to choose. 😩

Yes it can cause all of those things! Things have been so hard for international students this year. I really feel for you! Are you on a student VISA? If so, international students will generally access Australia's public mental health services in one of two ways.

- If you have Overseas Student Health Cover (e.g. through BUPA or a company like that) you can access anything in Australia's public health system, with financial costs generally covered between 80% to 100% depending on the company you're with. There'll be a line in the policy that says something like "Medicare Benefits Schedule (MBS) covered at 80%." To get things rolling you would speak with a GP you trust about setting up what's called a "Mental Health Care Plan". You would definitely qualify for one based on the symptoms you've described. You would then ask the GP to recommend a psychologist, or choose one yourself if you know of someone! The psychologist will then work with you on the issues. You can receive up to 12 sessions per year which your insurance will (at least mostly) cover.

- If you don't have Overseas Student Health Cover, that usually means you're covered by something called a Reciprocal Health Care agreement, and can access Australia's public system the same way as an Australian citizen. From memory, people from Italy, the UK and a few other places are covered by these agreements. In this case, you would make an appointment with your GP as above and ask to set up a Mental Health Care Plan, and the agreement should take care of all the costs.

Do either of those things sounds familiar to you? How do you usually access healthcare in Australia?

Also, it's worth pointing out that everything you say to a doctor, psychologist or any other healthcare professional in Australia will be completely confidential. They can't inform your husband without your permission.

Thankyou I have private insurance.. I will try to visit my gp

Hello Emptymanu, I'm sorry I'm late in replying but Yggdrasil has said most of it and there are psychiatrists who bulk bill, but to answer your question, absolutely, depression does lower your confindence, self esteem and does encourage negative thoughts, all of this combined does make it difficult to keep pretending.

You have our support.

Geoff.