Common, long term consequences of depression

[Jugglin_Strugglin]

been feeding the black dog for 5 years now. I have read threads here describing withdrawing from friends, work, life in general. I have done all of these .....not opening mail, paying bills when they come to turn off power, or arrest me. I have just been waiting for everything to implode, but surprisingly, it still hasn't. Now, I am so far behind in all my financial obligations, I don't know how to start getting back on track.

I am 5 years behind in tax (personal &my business). Paperwork is not computerised, so I don't even know where the invoices, receipts etc are amongst the rubble. A misunderstanding with phone co has resulted in my landline being disconnected on 23/12...I have paid bills (yay direct debit) but I signed up for an NBN/phone package but did not connect it as it does not suit my needs in a remote area. Now sick of begging Indians to reconnect my landline at work, so no bookings.

Fortuitous, as on Boxing Day, I awoke in excruciating pain. CT : slipped disc at C6. Dr. Google says no easy fix, I have read 100s of posts about this, it seems that regardless of treatment route, I will be in pain for the rest of my life. I have accepted this but without work, I can't afford to get specialist referrals etc, (I have paid private health for >16yrs...almost $50k!!! Doesn't cover that??)

1 good thing, This has been my first total 'holiday' from high stress/emotional job in 15yrs.

As a small business owner, I am not able to get sick pay. Centrelink won't pay unless my tax is up to date IF I DID qualify for disability support. I support my 16 yo son (wants transport now he has his learners but no $$) I have never received a cent of child support, his father lives locally and is here daily for meals etc, which I felt was a good thing for my son, but I am angry that I have been supporting him also.

I know things can't continue like this. But I am scared of making life decisions while in this black hole. I think baby steps are the only way to start to improve our situation (there is much, much more to our story, who wouldn't be depressed??) but it is almost impossible to take even baby steps. I am still putting things on the back burner as a coping strategy to forget problems. Of course they are still there (& worse) the next morning. I KNOW all this but I just can't take a baby step.

Sorry for rambling. (Big sigh, feels bit better tho)

Is there any free agencies to help sort out financial problems/paperwork?

How have others gotten back on track?

[Croix]

Dear Lee~

Thank you. There's only one thing left for me to say today - please do not be disheartened if you, like I and so many others, find progress is not all smooth, but occasionally ebbs a little before surging forward again (which it will).

BTW I also am too frightened (or sensibly cautious:) to contemplate a back operation until I absolutely have to.

Croix

[Jugglin_Strugglin]

Thanks again,

Yes, bit scary reading back through the post. Am I doing anything differently really?

Dont know, but I am feeling a bit lighter, so that is something. I am not looking forward to jumping back in, so I'll just dip a toe in. Soon...ish. Deep breath in, slow breath out.

I hope that today is treating you well, Croix

[blondguy]

Hi Jugglin

I read on another thread you asked about 'fighting' depression...(or anxiety for that matter)

Ive had acute anxiety for 13 years which then morphed into depression.

In my therapy I learned that 'fighting' anxiety was actually counter productive to recovery.

Fighting takes mental strength, energy etc and makes us weaker and then even more prone to the symptoms.

'Genuine and Calm Acceptance' of symptoms does work but requires time of course.

'Floating past the symptoms' and fighting is crucial to our recovery.

Dr Claire Weekes writes about 'not fighting' in her book 'Self Help for Your Nerves' Its written in plain english without any jargon. She was also a sufferer of MI as well.

I hope that is of some help 🙂

You are doing a great job on the forums by the way......Great Stuff!

My Best

Paul

[Jugglin_Strugglin]

Thanks Paul,

probably just trying to validate my current strategy of checking out and giving myself a break. I don't know if I'm just making a good excuse for continuing to stick my head in the sand. So of course it sounded good to me.

I can understand how it would be the case for anxiety, 'just let it go' sorta thing. But I do wonder about depression. All therapies seem to be aimed at pushing yourself to do things, then getting the sense of satisfaction that comes from that. I fear I am being counterproductive atm. I am floating past the symptoms, but I am not fighting. How do you do both? I will try and find her book. Ta.

The forums are currently my main therapy. It is eyeopening. I find it easy to empathise and give advice (which I can only hope is helpful) looking in as a 3rd person with experience. I only wish it wasn't such a bitter pill for me to swallow myself. I have said several times to others that they have answered their own questions. Perhaps we all do. It can be so hard to do what we know we have to. Is depression the chicken or the egg?

Lee!

[Croix]

Dear Lee~

I popped over here to thank you for your compliment in the Cafe - such things really do help me to feel good, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that.

I had a look at the start of your first thread here on my way and thought to my self you are not quite the same person. I'm sure being here has been good for you, given you information, perspective and warmth. I also think you have been good for others, giving advice and support as you can.

There is no race - yes I know outside events are there - but I strongly feel you are going to be able to meet all those challenges.

I was talking to a doctor the other day and asked about treatment for depression in the medical fraternity, if it was a bar to practice. I was surprised to find it was not. I do remember a similar worry of yours. Has the situation been clarified at all?

My best wishes

Croix

[Quercus]

Hi Lee,

I stumbled across your thread at last! I'm not very good at finding people on here sorry.

Just wanted to say thank you. It's very long overdue but thanks for taking the time to write your lovely reply when I first joined here. Taking that first step to introduce yourself is nervewracking and even worse is worrying noone will reply. I remember reading your reply and giving a huge sigh. And then I couldn't find your thread to repay the kindness!

How are you going? Have you made any progress getting help with your bookkeeping? Like Croix said sometimes I come across a reply of yours and you're a very welcome presence here on the forums. I wish I could extend the same support to you.