Broken Wings

[tlouise]

Dear Someone,

I am in recovery from anxiety and depression and my wings are broken. I often feel so overwhelmed that I feel numb. Maybe I’ve cried too much or maybe I’m still in disbelief. I have just come home from rehab and just when you think you’ve reached rock bottom you fall a bit more. I know recovery is a long term journey. I am at the very bottom and I need support. I found out my partner had been seeing another person while I was away. I can’t even explain the pain, anger and shame I’m feeling. I can’t help but blame my own inability to control my anxiety and depression as reason to deserve this. Maybe my self esteem is that broken. Some days I can’t get out of bed and face people because everyone expects me to be “better” now I’ve been to rehab. I have my phone permanently on do not disturb because I don’t want to talk to people. How do I fix my wings?

[Baker84]

Hi Im not the wright person too try and help you but I want you too know that Ive read your story and feel for what your going through at the moment. Im going through a marriage break up and am at my lowest point atm from what everyone tells me on here you have to allow yourself time to get through it all. I will respond if you respond as I know sometimes just knowing someone is listening helps.

[kanga_brumby]

tlouis Hi and welcome your right in saying it takes time to rehabilitate. Slow dam slow they never portray it well in the movies or tv. Your always better in a few minuets with no pain getting there. Realty is its months of grueling hard work pain the hole way even then you might not get back to how it was before. But we are a marvelous animal. We adapt we learn and modify we can learn to do it in a different way. As for your partner what a scum bag. You don't go off on your partner behind their back and find someone else when they are in rehab. You get in there and help them recover. Or let them know before they find some one new.

You deserve better your worth better treatment from your partner. One person I had Known for years kept switching between two different women. On two occasions I had to pull him aside ant tell him to pull his head in and choose one or the other. You cannot lead them on it's one or the other. Eventually he made his choice. But you have to set the standard for your partner. You may really love them but if they are found out to be two timing. It's " Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more!" Because you cannot trust a two timer. I have tried they keep on going to others then back to you others you.

Kanga Aka Peter

[tlouise]

Dear Baker84,

I can't imagine the pain of a marriage break up but I'm sure we might be feeling somewhat the same. It really sucks this feeling.

[tlouise]

Dear Kanga Aka Peter,

I am slowly starting to believe I deserve better too. I am feeling a lot of anger towards him but also towards myself. The anger towards myself is because despite everything he did to me I still stupidly love him. I refuse to go back however so now I am left with this uncomfortable pain. Everyone keeps telling me it will go away but right now it feels pretty lonely.

Yours Truely

Tlouise

[kanga_brumby]

louise I have left people who have started a sexual relationship with others whilst in one with me. So I no the heart ache it can cause it takes time. When I lost my last partner it was the hardest that was in 2004 I have been looking since. But because it was because she died from breast cancer took the wind out of my sails. Because I had to grieve for her death. When you loose someone from a relationship ir's similar. It's the death of the relationship that's hard. So be kind to yourself take yourself out for a girls night out have fun. You could meet someone nice Have a great day

Peter

[Chloe_M]

Hi Tlouise (also hi kanga),

It will take time. Time heals everything. As Peter said, be kind to yourself. Be gentle. You've just been through hell and back. Allow yourself to feel. Allow yourself to be sad and cry and also laugh and joke. Life goes on whether you like it or not.

You are making a good decision in regards to not going back. Don't look back Tlouise; you would just be looking back at the hurt and pain that you have left behind (whether you realise or not). You still love him; hey, that's completely and utterly normal. You can't just break up and all of a sudden not feel anything towards that person instantaneously. It doesn't work like that.

You do deserve better. Anyone who cheats on their partner isn't worthy of their partner.

Hope you are feeling better x

Chloe

[Baker84]

Yeah it does suck, But everyone tells me that in time it will get better, which is hard to believe sometimes but everything happens for a reason is what Im told so I just keep trying to remember that. Keep your chin up and I hope you feel better soon.

[kanga_brumby]

Some of the past relationships I have had where they have found someone else whilst with me still hurt even today. I cannot trust those people again I wish to but cannot . I have to leave that behind or it could make my next relationship toxic. I now find it harder to trust people because it has happened twice with one person followed in the next relationship. Even though I had told her what had happened and her saying she would never do that to me. It was then oh but I don't understand......... What she said she wouldn't enter a relationship with another but did. What is not to understand.

My point here is if he is two timing you it's two timing you cannot trust a two timer I did. and got burnt but Am still willing to trust slowly but still trust.

Kanga