BPD extreme reactions

[DannyG]

Hi everyone

are there anyone out there who have BPD (I don’t want to say ‘suffer from’ BPD) who have trouble with extreme reactions and how do you manage these?

it happens to me off and on but I don’t really have a strategy that works for me to deal with it, except try to just ride there feeling out which isn’t really much of a strategy.

usually with me it’s in reaction to something that happens or someone says and my reaction is anger or sadness. I cry or I want to yell at the person.

thanks everyone 🙂

[FJDad]

Hey Danny, I don't have BPD but do have PTSD and reading your post do have those same issue's. It's hard to find the perfect balance some days I want people around me as it helps me feel secure but with out fail someone will say something that triggers an emotional response. I need to walk away and sometimes just yell at a tree or something like that.

I find having my selfish alone time really helps. Bottling it up and not having some release doesn't make me a very nice person to be around I'm angry depressing and drag other's down so alone time venting to the dog even works. A dog doesn't judge twist it and stab you in the back telling others. They are like a breathing diary that keeps no records ☺ but you've released your demons so to speak.

I hope this may help you.

[DannyG]

Thanks FJ I’m glad that someone understands what I’m talking about. I’m not nice to be around either when I’m like this ! I’d like to just be able to switch it off but I can’t. Thanks for your suggestions 🙂

[Recentsurvivor]

I don't have BPD but my partner of 4 years did who I finally got out of the toxic relationship .ive studied it for years ans sent him to dbt therapy. It's a hard illness to get over.

[Moniker]

Hi, I’m a bit late to the party, but I have BPD and can relate to what you are saying.

It’s really hard to keep my emotions in check when someone does something, that for whatever reason, is NOT ok with me.

Honestly it was such a relief for me to find out that I have a thing that makes me different from other people and so it really is harder for me to manage my emotions. That on it’s own doesn’t make it easier to manage my emotions but it does help with the associated self-loathing and shame that comes with it.

Hope that relates to what you are talking about 🙂

[Moniker]

Hi again, sorry, I just realised you asked how others manage their extreme reactions.

It’s 100% a work in progress for me. I’m just starting therapy so I assume it will get easier. At the moment things I do (or try to do with varying levels of success) are:

know my triggers and have concrete steps planned out for if they occur.

Let others know I’m having a ‘BPD’ moment, when that feels ok for me to share.

Breathe. I particularly like the balloon breathing where you imagine a balloon that’s your favourite colour in your tummy. You breathe in to blow it up and then breathe out til it’s completely empty again. I do this usually 3 times. I relaxes my body and shows me that I can be in a stressful situation and not be tense.

Watch my emotions and feelings and be interested in the way I’m reacting rather than purely reacting.

Validate myself. As you said, it’s usually a reaction to something that someone has done, we don’t react to nothing (although we can be reacting to a previous trauma that has been triggered). But telling myself ‘yes this person has done something and it is reasonable that I am not ok with it,’ really helps me be less reactive (not completely). I don’t know about anyone else but there is a lot of self-blame and invalidation coming out when I have big reactions to things, maybe it’s a defence mechanism. So being able to self-validate helps that.

And lastly, I forgive myself when I get it wrong. I am trying really, really hard. I want to be better, and it sounds like your are trying really hard as well. I’m not going to get it right every single time, but that is not an innate flaw in who I am as a person, rather, it is a learned response to extreme emotional pain that I am doing my best to unlearn.

I have a heck of a long way to go, but these are my starting points. I’d love to hear your thoughts 🙂

[Billyc]

Hi,

Im sorry your dealing with this difficulty. I was “part” diagnosed with BPD by one GP, but than a couple of months later was advised by a psychiatrist that it can take 12 months to be diagnosed with BPD. Is this true?

Im sorry I can’t help you with your question regarding extreme reactions.. I think I have similar challenges but never actually diagnosed

all the best

[quirkywords]

Moniker

welcome to the forum and thanks for your honest and helpful post.

You have detailed suggestions that help both someone with BOPD and people who know and or work with people with BPD.

Thanks for sharing your ideas and experiences with others.

As this an older thread you may want to start a thread of your own . If you want to look at FAQ thread and you will see on the first post how to start a new thread.

Of course you are welcome to post on threads that interest you.

Thanks again and welcome.

Quirky