Bipolar- hating my job and not being supported at work

[user-beyondblue_forum]

Hi everyone, I just feel so trapped and depressed. I hate my job and I've applied for so many new ones but never get them. My job makes me highly irritable, flat and upset and takes the happiness and energy out of me and I hate it! I am on the disability employment program (for mental illness) at work and surely I'm meant to be supported! I wish my manager would sit me down and ask how I am but instead she leaves me feeling judged and intimidated and worried that if I ask if I can do different tasks that I don't hate so much they won't renew my contract. They are not at all supporting me even though they know I'm on the disability employment program and this makes me angry and upset. I usually love doing art when I get home but work makes me so unmotivated, irritable, angry, upset and flat. I just feel there's no end!

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi there

I'm sorry that you haven't had luck getting a new job, that sounds difficult. I'm not familiar with the disability employment program. When you joined the program, were you advised what sort of support would be given, and by whom? If you feel you can't talk to the manager, is there someone else that you could talk to?

Katy

[user-beyondblue_forum]

Thanks for your reply :), I've spoken to the Disability Employment Program kind of facilitator in the government and she just says I need to talk to my manager if I want to do different tasks and that I need a medical certificate from my psychiatrist to be able to do different things at work. I wonder if I'm going to crack soon and just tell her for my mental health I need to be doing different tasks but I'm so scared she wont be compassionate and won't renew my contract but maybe that's paranoid. I wish I had the guts to stand up for myself and put my mental health first but I'm scared!

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

What a shame there's not more support. I thought there would have been on that type of program. Perhaps your best option is to spend some time thinking about how best to approach having that conversation with your boss. Maybe identifying which tasks you are finding challenging, and being able to articulate why. And if appropriate, identifying which tasks you may be able to take on. Conversations like that are never easy, but if it's good for our mental health it's worth giving it a go. As for not renewing your contract, the anti-discrimination laws are in your favour, but there's no guarantee.

[quirkywords]

Welcome user,

since the manager agreed to take you on the Disability Employment Program, hopefull she will be understanding. Maybe write something diwn and read it to he if you gorged what to say.

you might thank her for the opportunity but you are finding it difficult and maybe suggest a task you could do.

what is it about your job that makes you so flat.

[user-beyondblue_forum]

Thankyou both, it means so much to me that you've contributed. It might not sound that bad and a lot of people would love being a receptionist, but I'm introverted- spending most of my time alone, and when I serve at reception, people are often rude, grumpy, disagreeable, and it's so repetitive asking them the same demographic questions it makes me irritable (bipolar) , sad so forth. I really appreciate your encouragement about thinking thoroughly about what to say to her. I might do it

[quirkywords]

user,

I was diagnosed with bipolar and found the best job for me was to be my own boss. I was lucky to run a shop for many years. I understand the stress of jobs that dont suit you, , I found teaching hard and routine tasks would lead to me getting high and then being sacked for telling the boss how to do their job.

i assume the idea of the program is to support you, so all the best in talking to your manager.

[user-beyondblue_forum]

Thanks for sharing your story, that's really interesting! Thanks for your support 🙂

[quirkywords]

Thanks let us know if you like, what you decide to do.

[Guest_4643]

Hey there user-beyondblue_forum, welcome.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry that you're going through this, they should be supporting you, letting you take breaks, whatever you need. I'm sorry they aren't, it's not fair. I'm sure you're a good worker despite your mental illnesses.

I don't have any advice because I don't know about work so my apologies, but I hope things get better for you. Sorry I can't help further. I'm here for you though.