Anxiety around my child being sick

[Guest_7025]

I think I may need professional advice. Let me know what you think?

each time my children get sick, it stirs up this intense anxiety within me. I don’t know if it’s out of sympathy. I just worry so intensely about them and if they’re going to be ok. Then in the moment; any other worry I have is brought to the surface such as my anxiety around flying  and travel in general. I am a homebody. 

my husband I think just doesn’t have the skills, words, natural empathy to help me through it. 

I just sat outside in the cold fresh air to clear my head.

have you experienced this and how did you find your way through it?

[Beth_123]

Dear fellow parent,

I can completely understand and relate to the intense anxiety you feel when your children get sick. It's natural for parents to worry about the well-being of their children and want to ensure they are okay. It sounds like this anxiety also triggers other worries for you, such as your anxiety around flying and travel, and that your husband may not have the skills or natural empathy to provide the support you need. I felt the same way as a young mother.

It's important to acknowledge and validate your feelings. Parenting can be overwhelming, and it's okay to seek professional advice if you feel like you need additional support in managing your anxiety. A qualified therapist can help you explore coping strategies, such as relaxation techniques or cognitive-behavioral techniques, to manage your anxiety in these situations.

In the meantime, taking care of yourself is crucial. Sitting outside in the fresh air to clear your head is a great self-care practice. You may also consider other self-care activities that help you relax and recharge, such as taking a bath, practicing deep breathing, or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy.

Remember, you are not alone in feeling this way, and it's okay to ask for help. Taking steps towards seeking professional advice and practicing self-care can be valuable in managing your anxiety and finding a way through it.

Take care of yourself and your children. You're doing your best, and you're not alone.

[geoff]

Hello Guest, I think most parents are always worried when their children become sick, especially if a doctor has to be involved, because it makes us think about the worse scenario, I think that's only natural.

Sometimes our spouse isn't comforting and believe we should just handle the situation by themselves and when this happens it does create a bridge between us and eventually makes it difficult to mention anything else to them, widening a gap.

To be outside by yourself thinking about what may happen can be a cause to widen your anxiety because you have no one else to talk to.

That's understandable.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[therising]

Hi Guest_7025

I wish someone had have warned me about how incredibly challenging such a deep sense of love can be at times. I'd never felt such love before having kids. I always thought love was this beautiful thing, all unicorns and rainbows type of stuff. No one warned me it can be brutal, anxiety inducing, exhausting, tormenting, challenging etc. It can also bring out this fierce lioness aspect of self as well, an 'I'm prepared to fight you to the death' kind of nature that was never there before. Such love is an incredible thing in so many ways. Then there's the fear aspect. To love someone so deeply that you fear for their well being or their life is a whole new level. To fear we haven't done enough to help them through a challenging time is another one. This one's a toughy, I think because it can lead to a terrible sense of failure. You can do just about everything under the sun to serve your child or children yet still feel that sense of failure based on the one thing you haven't done. I think we find just how deeply we are capable of loving, in so many different ways, when we love our children.

With so many 'files' (references or mental programs) stored up there in our head, I've found once a file's been opened it's like BAMM, I've gained access to a lot of other fears within that file. Can sound a little like 'If I can't cope with this, what else can't I cope with?' and there it is, that other thing or all those other things.

Being a 'feeler' is so incredibly challenging at times. While my husband is someone who's capable of feeling, he doesn't feel quite as intensely and as often as I do. I think while we can feel our child's needs and fears easily, our own fears easily and even our partner's feelings easily, being the one who feels everything can definitely become exhausting and not all that good for the nervous system. Mastering emotional detachment for the sake of my own well being is something I continue to work on. Such hard work at times especially when feeling our own child's fears during their time of sickness. Half emotionally detaching so as to analyse the best course of action while feeling their fear and the need to calm that down is about having a foot in both camps (as feeler and analyst). Our kids definitely develop us in so many ways.

[jaz28]

Hi there,

I am sorry you have been experiencing these feelings, that must be hard for you. I would suggest seeing your doctor and informing them about these feelings, they will be able to inform you of the best practice and where to go next.

It is natural to be concerned when your child is sick, you are a parent after all and you want to make sure your child is okay. But it might be nice to see a professional to get some insight.

I hope it works out,

Jaz xx