Always been single!

[NDR]

Hi,

I've read a few posts on here recently, so I thought i'd share my situation for anyone else in the same boat. Basically since I was 18, i've lost my adolescence & youth to mental health & some heavy personal circumstances & have never really dated either.

Due to the above, it's made socialising hard & what i've been through destroyed my confidence, as well ability to form relationships with women, especially the ones i've liked & vice versa.

Without sounding arrogant, i'm actually not a bad looking guy with a good personality & the fact that i've been unable to attract anyone or stuffed up opportunities, it's just soul destroying to be honest.

I'm in my 40's now & I'm still dealing with it some days it's just plain awful. I've often thought about what it would've looked like had I had more luck. I have nothing but respect for women / others but feel really sad / depressed when I see other couples or anyone I find attractive.

I know it's life, yes I should focus on the positives but having to take a back seat to your mental health can leave you pretty lonely & sad some days.

I've recently started counselling but due to the holidays, i'm on my own & it's been tough. Just wanted to do the right thing & reach out. 

Anyways, I hope I made sense & can relate to what others may be dealing with.

Thanks for your time, 

N.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

It's a sad xmas with your lonely situation. However, to look forward to 2023 with a refreshed approach would be gratifying wouldnt it?

By coincidence I have a 53yo female friend staying with us for a few days in a similar situation. As I've advised her, one cannot get past the basics of meeting someone in the traditional ways in this modern society. 60 years ago it was dances then disco's and now its mainly online or hobbies and sports.

With online the main benefit is that you eliminate dozens or more of those that are not suitable, thats a great head start. With no children of your own for example, meeting someone with children might not be a good idea as your experience in that field isnt great. Same with someone that likes to travel if you prefer to do camping in our own country and so on. My daughter met her husband online and its a success.

Hobbies- the type that has females in the group is good.

Sport- following a footy club is a good idea.

Friends of family is another possibility.

There is many ladies out there that would be very interested in a guy without baggage. I think you are selling yourself short a bit and looking at it in a too negative way. Start next year with a frsh feeling and you might just fill your life with someone special. Good luck

TonyWK