Dear Brenten
Hello. Good to welcome you to Beyond Blue. And well done for posting here. It's not the easiest thing to do as we have all found out. This is a safe site for you to use. No bullying etc. and completely confidential.
I am also dealing with teenagers these days. Not my children, my grandchildren. The only thing that is different is that I can walk away.
I agree with some of your comments. The 40s are or can be a difficult time of life. You seem to have graduated from all the fun and excitement of being a young man and inherited all the cares of of supporting a family without many compensating joys. We love our children and want to continue supporting them but they are making their own lives, although they still need a chauffeur. This is the time we need to think about our own needs and make plans to enjoy life again, this time as a couple not a family.
I suggest you start this new life by making an appointment with your GP. There could be all sorts of reason why you feel miserable these days. You believe you are anxious and have OCD. This may be correct, but also may not be correct. In any event your health needs a tune up and service, like your car, in order to function at optimum capacity. Quite a number of people are nervous about seeing a doctor, especially when there is any kind of mental health issue involved. Please do not be put off by this. Your GP will check you out thoroughly, physically and mentally. And if you need further help she/he will discuss this with you. I suggest you book a long appointment.
I have never been certain what a midlife crisis is. It may be as you have described above, a change from one type of lifestyle to another which causes anxiety and will go away once the change has been implemented. It may also be a number of other things. So getting checked out seems a reasonable first step. Others may have been through a similar period to yours but this does not mean they are the same, or that it will go away in some magical fashion.
Rather than take over the counter medication, ask your GP for advice on the need for any medication or supplements. If you don't know what's wrong how do you know how to cure it? I often suggest people browse this web site for information, which of course you can. I do suggest you visit your GP first. I doubt that you are inadequate, however you feel, as you describe a full and busy life. Perhaps too busy?
Come back and talk to us. There is heaps of support here.
Mary
