Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Croix]

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna one, Anna two…

[quirkywords]

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

[Croix]

There was a horse who was a genius at arithmetic...
...which it learned with no difficulty. Algebra was a breeze, and it could even prove theorems in Euclidean geometry. However, when someone tried to teach it analytic geometry, it would rear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously, neigh loudly, and make violent head motions in resistance.

The moral of this story is that you can't put Descartes before the horse.

[Croix]

A horse sits down in a movie theater,
the woman next to him asks, “Excuse me… are you a horse?”
“Why yes, I am,” replies the horse.
“What are you doing at this movie?”
The horse says, “I really liked the book.”

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone...🤗

I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to 1 – and it did!.....

Unfortunately all the others came in at 12.30.

[Croix]

100 years ago everyone owned horses
And only the rich owned cars
Now everyone has a car,and only the rich own horses
The stables have turned

[Croix]

You're being chased by a Lion, you're on a horse, to the left of you is a Giraffe and on the right a unicorn.

What do you do?
You stop drinking and get off the Carousel.

[Croix]

A grammar teacher was lecturing his students on double negatives. He
explains, "In some languages, take English, for example, if you were to
use double negatives, it is the equivalent of a positive. It isn't
considered proper grammar for that reason."

A student raises his hand. "Like in Algebra?"

"Exactly. However, in other languages, like Russian, a double negative
is still a negative. For those of you who are curious, there is no
language where a double positive equals a negative."

A student piped up in the back. "Yeah, right."

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone...🤗

Rushing up to a large airline’s ticket counter, a man gasped....“Miss, please help me. I have to get to Chicago in the worst way!”

The clerk calmly pointed to her left and said....“Sir, that would be the airline next to us.”

[Croix]

I asked a flight attendant to change my seat because of a crying baby next to me.
It turns out you can’t do that if the baby is yours.