Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Not_Batman]

What did the 12 apostles have as a starter at the last supper?

cheeses, sliced!

[Birdy77]

My friend invented a device to bring back herbs from the future. He calls it his "thyme machine."

[Croix]

Where does a herb garden go on holiday?
Bazil

[NobleAlarc32]

Guess I’ll flex my sense of humour...

I used to be concerned about my hobbies and interests displaying my blatantly obvious geekiness: screen-hogging sessions of surfing the ‘net, Magic: The Gathering meta-gaming, being a dedicated D&D Dungeon Master, binge-watching that BBC series ‘bout a brilliant being in a blue box, amazing alliterations and other fantastic forms of wonderful wordplay... you get the idea.

Nowadays I embrace my inner geek: go with the flow, play my cards, roll with it, and take each moment as it comes. The amazing alliterations are an added bonus.

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone..

Why did the gymnast put extra salt on her food through summer..

A. So she could do summer salts.

[tranzcrybe]

Nice idea Grandy,

And if she does this on December 21 this year, then she will be performing Somersaults during the Summer Salt-sis (Solstice). And if there is a maths teacher banging the blackboard at the same time, then he will be performing Sum Assaults while she does Somersaults...

hee-hee,

t.

[Not_Batman]

A scottish guy walks into a pharmacy looking for deodorant.

He asks one of the ladies at the counter if they have any.

the lady says “sure, ball or aerosol?”

The scottish man replies with “no, just armpit!”

[Ggrand]

tranzcrybe....

😂😂..Thank you..

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone...

Why does Santa 🎅🏻 go through the chimney?

Because it soots him...😂

[blondguy]

Fun Fact! Claustrophobia isnt funny

'Claustrophobia' is common 'reason' used by many sufferers of chronic anxiety to retain their employment when working for directors/management that have an 1950's mentality where anxiety is concerned