Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Ggrand]

Hello Quercus, Croix and everyone...

Wednesday came around quickly...

I heard on the news that the police were looking for a runaway octopus...

They said he was armed and dangerous

[Croix]

That's realy excellent Grandy:)

OK, I know it's not Wednesday, but the following is not a joke, its poetry:)

Carmen the octopus was no longer charmed,
She was attacked by a shark and then was disarmed,
But, she got it together,
Her loss of limbs didn't upset her,
She grew new ones and appeared quite unharmed.

[Birdy77]

Q: What did the busdriver say when someone tried to take the Octopus' seat on the bus?

A: I'm sorry, but that seat is Octopied.

[Ggrand]

Hi Mr. Croix, Birdy and everyone...

They we’re funny...,😂😂..

Doesn’t matter it’s not Wednesday..a joke is good on any day..and so is funny poems...

Lifts the soul...

[Croix]

What do humans and octopuses have in common?
Two sets of forearms

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone..,

Two sardines swimming around at the bottom of the sea.

When a submarine goes by. —

Heavens! What’s that? asked one sardine..

.......Just a can of people.

[Meeshatheblob]

Aware wolf! Good one! I love these jokes 🙂
What do you call a lost wolf?

-A Where-Wolf

[Gonetroppo]

This was probably derived from a little ditty created by Spike Milligan. It goes something like this:

A baby sardine saw a big submarine

And screamed as he looked through the peephole

"Oh come come come" said the sardine's mum

It's only a tin full of people

[Ggrand]

Thank you very much Gonetroppo,

I haven’t heard the full joke...

I like it..

[Croix]

I made a 1:1000 000 scale model German submarine
it's a pretty good μ-boat

OK, for those not mathematically inclined:

What do you call a German stealth WW2 submarine?
A not see you boat.