Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[eight]

because there's. dude walked a 500 miles and 500 more but hey there delilah mentions planes and trains and cars. he walked those thousand instead. wasted all the time and effort walking

[IPlay]

Knock gnocchi
Who's there?
Potato

[Birdy77]

eight, i don't think they would have felt they'd wasted their time because wasn't their objective "just to be the man who walked one thousand miles to fall down at your door"? 🤷‍♀️

[Birdy77]

Did you hear about the chef who locked herself out of the kitchen?

She had gnocchi

🥁

[eight]

in light of the negative oil prices i am becoming the world's first zillionaire by pulling out all the petrol pumps and letting them spill over the pavement as the minimum wage bp cashier rushes out to palm me fat stacks

[Croix]

A man is a zillionaire from buying metal rods and reselling them
His friend asks "how how did you get to be so rich just doing that?

The man replies "I'm just good at bar gaining"

[eight]

doc told me to stop drinking mercury again. i'd sue him for malpractice and misinformation but i've lost the ability to form complex thoughts and arguments for some reason

[Croix]

You wanna hear a joke about potassium? ... K

You wanna hear a joke about sodium? ... Na

You wanna hear a joke about silicon? ... Si

You wanna hear a joke about nitrogen and oxygen? ... NO

[Ggrand]

What does the grape say when someone steps on it....

Nothing...it just lets out a little wine..

[Birdy77]

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams and Bruno Mars all walk into a bar. They didn't planet that way . . .