Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Not_Batman]

If ever there was a time to become a ventriloquist, it is now - you can wear a mask and nobody would see your lips move.

[Croix]

Then how will the dummy know what to say?

[Ggrand]

Did you hear about the dummy that robbed a bank?

Police are questioning a ventriloquist who may have had a hand in it.

[Croix]

A joke that fits right in now:

Say what you will about bank robbers...
At least they wear masks

[Not_Batman]

A slice of apple pice costs $2.50 in jamaica, and $3.25 in the bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

Not_Batman

[Croix]

How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A buccaneer.

[Not_Batman]

My wife calls me her sweet potato. I suppose i yam.

[eight]

i am permanently banned from scattergories after my vonderful idea during zee v round to use vords beginning vith w and pronouncing zem vith a german accent

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone...I hope your day has been a good day😁

Q: What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish?

A: Tweetie Pie

[Croix]

What succeeds?

A toothless canary