Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[tranzcrybe]

Q: how many Surrealists 🎨 does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: a fish 🐠

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone....🤗..

Q:What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show?

A: A CAT-tastrophy!

[eight]

[animal kingdom getting together for poker]

dog: i've dealt all your cards, why hasn't cat picked his up? he's the only one who hasn't

turtle: yeah, cat, are you in or out?

cat:

[Croix]

Not Wednesday, but wanted to say hello to eight .

to continue....

cat: There's no point, very time the dog gets a winning hand he wags his tail

[tranzcrybe]

[I don't know if this is crossing the line, but if you can't laugh at yourself...]

Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Just one, but the light bulb must first express the desire to change.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one, but we will have to go back quite a way to ascertain how the light bulb found itself in this predicament from its inception.

[Ggrand]

A priest buys a lawn mower at a garage sale
Back at home, he pulls on the rope a few times with no results.

He storms back to the garage sale and tells the previous owner "I can't get the mower to start!"

"That's because you have to curse to get it started, says the man."

"I'm a man of the cloth. I don't even remember how to curse."

"You keep pulling on that rope, and it will come back to you."

[Not_Batman]

Mrs Not_Batman asked me if i have ever had tinnitus. I said it rings a bell.

Not_Batman

[hellohi]

How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together.

🐧

[Not_Batman]

When i tell people i’m a mushroom, they think its because i’m kept in the dark and fed horses**t. But i prefer to think its because im a fungi.

fun guy...hello is thing on!??

Not_Batman

[Croix]

How much room does fungi need to grow ?
As mushroom as possible