Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Moonstruck]

A newly engaged guy went to his GP with a concern. "Dr, I think I may have marriage phobia"

"Do you notice any symptoms"

"Can't say I do"

[Ggrand]

I used to have a friend who kept changing the sound that his alarm clock made......

I wonder what he’s getting up to now?

[hellohi]

1. Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house. Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
2. My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
3. Q: What did the 30-degree angle say to the 90-degree angle?
   A: “You think you’re always right!”
4. Secretary: “Doctor, the invisible man has come. He says he has an appointment.”
   Doctor: “Tell him I can’t see him.”

[aussiemel]

I sold my vacuum the other day.

All it was doing, was collecting dust.

[Ggrand]

Why did the scarecrow get promoted?

Because he was out standing in his field!

[Croix]

[BAD TASTE WARNING!]

Three little pigs walk into a bar.
The first pig orders 10 drinks, downs them, and then asks for the bathroom.
The second pig orders 10 drinks, downs them, and asks for the bathroom.
The third pig orders 20 drinks, downs them, and then sits there eating peanuts.
"Aren't you going to ask for the bathroom?" asks the bartender.
"Nope. I'm the pig who goes wee-wee-wee all the way home."

Sorry about that:)
-C

[Ggrand]

Dear Croix.

Dont be sorry...it was funny...😂😂😂😂😂and I laughed😂😂😂😂..Thank you...Dear Sir..🤗🦋

[hellohi]

I laughed too! 🤣

We love your 3 Little Pig jokes!

[Croix]

Out of 3 little pig jokes, will have to go with the wolf instead:)

Did you hear about the cow that cried wolf?
Fake Moos!

[blondguy]

The 3 little pigs mad me smile 🙂

I know some of us have difficulty with compliments....yet that was funny Croix...Excellent 🙂