Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[topsy_]

I put things away in a "safe place". I always feel really chuffed. That is, until I want to retrieve things. Do you think I can find anything??!!

I reassure myself if ever I move I'll have such a lovely time rediscovering all my treasures!

[Gruffudd]

Why wouldn't the shrimp share his treasure?

Because he was a little shellfish.

[Gruffudd]

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A white horse fell in the mud.
Wanna hear a clean joke? He took a bath.

[Lost_Girl]

Teacher: When was Rome built?

Student: At night

Teacher: What makes you say that?

Student: Dad always says Rome wasn't built in a day

[Moonstruck]

Why did the chicken go to the seance?

Because he wanted to get to the other side.

[Gruffudd]

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

A chocolate BAA

[Gruffudd]

A duck waddles into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether the Universe is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, waddles out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

[Lost_Girl]

I think you have outdone yourself with that one Rob lol

[Gruffudd]

Worst Joke Wednesday has begun... 🙂

A man visits a monastery. At dinner he is served Fish and Chips, and they are delicious, the best he has ever eaten. He goes back into the kitchen to thank the cook, and finding someone there cooking, he asks "Are you the Fish Fryer?" To which the man replies, "No, I'm the Chip Monk".

[Gruffudd]

A man walks into a library drunk and says, "can I have a fish and chips please" The woman says, "sir this is a library" and then he whispers, "can I have a fish and chips please."