Trying to make a fresh start with a broken heart. Miss the old me. How do I heal from this?

[BNB24]

Feel so heart broken atm just need help getting back to the old me.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

There are many broken heart here. I had 3 all over 7 years duration. The 2nd one, my 1st wife (11 years), we had 2 young kiddies. Following a suicide attempt I knew I had to leave but I'd devote myself to being the best part time dad in the world. 

I walked around my new town in grief for 8 weeks, mainly grieving for my kids between visits, then walking past a real estate agent window spotted a block of land. I bought it at auction then re-erected my large garage (my property settlement) and ordered a kit home. Suddenly I was so busy I didnt have time to be sad, long shift work hours and erecting the house kept me busy. Hence one of the keys to picking yourself up.

The other ideas include dating (yes, you dont have to be serious about it and it gives you clarity with your ex), camping, entertainment (a show to look forward to).

Time is your friend, it will take a few months and I understand how hard the process is.

Try writing even a short story about your break up. I wrote this one after my third relationship before me 2nd marriage to my current wife of 13 years.

THE CORNER OF THE BUSH

Given society a gentle push

Arrived in the corner of the bush

Moved fast lane aside for harmony

Closer to ones own – destiny

Shadow moon shines infinitely

Night owls a symphony

Sitting arms in Buddha pose

Spiders allowed to dance upon my nose

Furry paws best caring hand

No shield needed in wonderland

No internet, no dog and bone

All the stones are never thrown

In the corner of the bush

Give society a gentle push

Blending bark with your skin

Protesters nearby – but they will not win

Children nearby ‘hide and seek’

We all end up as a compost heap

Fun and more fun echoes all around

Some life lived – some never found

Further and further into branches and leaves

Like us, do animals grieve?

Bush no need for duck and weave

Only matters – what you believe

Hark the bells of sanity

No mirror for your vanity

Rocks thrown from a cowards lair

I’m in the bush…no quarry there

Trip over plastic traps

Cradle broken bird in your lap

Send society with that gentle push

From the corner of the bush

Reply anytime

TonyWK

[sbella02]

Hey BNB24,

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. I'm also currently struggling with the aftermath of a breakup, so this is all fresh in my mind but I can relate to you and my heart goes out to you.

Cry as much as you feel like you need to. For venting, journaling is my best advice, it can be really therapeutic to write out everything you're feeling. It can also help you organise your thoughts and work out what you're feeling and what you may be able to do to help yourself feel better. 

Do you have any loved ones or people close to you who you may be able to confide in or sit with to give you company? Even if you'd feel comfortable having a chat to a GP or therapist, professional advice can also be useful if you're feeling particularly low.

Were there any activities you haven't done in a while that would bring you joy, or any projects you've been meaning to start? If you're missing your former self from before you were heartbroken, these kind of activities or hobbies may help you start to regain a better sense of self and identity, and they can be good predictors of wellbeing too.

I hope some of this can resonate with you. We're here to listen, if you have more you'd like to get off your chest.

Take care of yourself during this time. Be kind to yourself and your heart as it heals.

SB