Oh my sweet Danny;
My heart skipped a beat reading of your sadness and worry. I'm stronger now than I have been since my breakdown, so I'm fine with helping you tackle this situation. If I'm lacking in emotion, it's due to pragmatism.
The first thing you need to do is call for reinforcements. Not sure which state you're in hun, but there's bound to be an organisation that deals with foster parenting. They'll have lots of resources and contacts you might be able to take advantage of.
Next thing is getting yourself to a psych for some purging, crying and a hand on your shoulder. If you're going to fall to pieces, may as well do it in front of someone who's used to it.
Hunt around for a MH medical centre. We have one here with everything from GP's to psychiatrists, all on medicare. They're not much chop, but in a pickle it's an option.
Otherwise, go the ED and ask to speak to the MH Team. If anything, they can direct you to a social worker. I know, I know, you've had enough interference. But, you need support.
Raring teenage girls is a nightmare even without the added pressure of them being victims of abuse. You can't do it alone...
Now, the next thing is getting some decent food into your bellies. When I was in need, I approached my local butchers and asked to work for meat to feed my son and I. He was pretty shocked, but had nothing to offer. As I walked away, he called me back and gave me a bag with enough meat for a fortnight.
This tool of survival is hard slog on the nerves, but there's good people out there Danny. Op shops for the girls to go silly in for free if you approach Vinni's or Salvo's. You don't have to do it, I'm just trying to give you ideas until you're finances improve.
If telling them about your childhood is meant to make them feel sorry for you so they'll behave, it'll work for a while. But teens are a self centred lot and eventually things will turn again.
One thing I do know, if they sense any weakness in you, they'll use it to their advantage. That's worst case scenario though; I hope I'm wrong. They need a firm hand and routines, this'll grate at them, but underneath feels secure and will prepare them for adulthood.
I want to say so much to you, but like all posts they must end at some point. 2500 characters to be exact. 😞
Keep writing; please...
Love you;
Sez xoxo
