The Transcendent Rainbow Cafe - social space for LGBTI members

[Paul]

It would be so great to have a thread here where we can chat about almost anything. We can have fun, tell jokes, share stories, you name it!

There's a "BB Cafe" thread in the general area where lots of people chat daily and have established some nice light hearted conversations, it's treated as if it's a real cafe, there's even virtual baked goods and coffee!

Let's create a chat here for anyone to join, in particular the GLBTIQ community to let their collective hair down and chill out. It's a safe space to be yourself.

We just need a name 🙂

[Just Sara]

Hey again DD;

I just responded to you on the movie quote thread. 🙂

Welcome to our Rainbow Café where you can be bi anyway you wish. There's actually a discussion on this subject on our other thread; 'LGBTI+ members - got a question - here's a good place to start'

I'm a non-active bi woman who's been on the forum since Oct 15. I came out on here as a matter of fact; after some deep and meaningful dialog of course. You're welcome to pop in anytime you like to share a cuppa-jo, sticky bun or party hat; please feel welcome to chat ok. Again, lovely to meet you...Sez x

Infinity...what a tragic story for this day and age. I'm bloody shocked! You have my support...absolutely. So sorry you had to come out that way too hun. Is everything ok with your folks? Was it a shock for them, or did they have an inkling?

You can come here anytime to vent or rage at the moon so to speak. We all need that from time to time. I wish you well in your lawsuit; you're a winner for sure!

All the best hun...

Sez x

[Dwyer_the_Depressed]

Hi Sez,

thanks for the lovely welcome and kind words. extremely few people know about my Bi side, It started when I was a teenager probably due to some incidents that happened to me, but because of them, I guess I will never know if I would have ended up bi anyway. I'm a non active bi guy mainly due to lack of opportunity...... I would consider myself definitely bi with a strong hetero leaning. But I am very lucky in that I have always taken everybody for their beauty within as well as being very imaginative and having a strong experimental streak. I know I could never be gay, as I love women too much. But thankfully, by being very open minded I have had the opportunity and pleasure to explore an incredible range of sexuality diverse activities and people.

Paul

[Raynor]

MP thanks for asking 🙂 I'm impatient. I feel like it's too slow but I know everyone thinks that and there are reasons for starting on a lower dose and building up (apparently if you suddenly get too much T your body converts some of it to oestrogen - who'd have thought?!) So to answer your question, not a whole lot. I have more energy and my sex drive has increased lol - not totally helpful since I'm currently single but it stops my head from imagining that I've been given some kind of placebo.

I like that there are so many bi peoples here. I hardly know any in real life. Y'all seem to be kind of invisible, which is a shame - lgBTq 😉

[MsPurple]

Wow so many people have posted since I popped in 🙂

FallenAngel how did you appointment with the psychiatrist go? I know the hard question of "do you want to get better" with someone with an eating disorder. I wanted it to go away, as I was starving, I was hungry, couldn't concnetrate, isolated myself from people as I didn't want to eat or eat unsafe foods. From someone looking on the outside it sounds horrible. But as you get deeper and deeper in you become more anxious about food and richials around it. The scales determines your mood, it determines if you are going to work harder or treat yourself etc. It gives you a rush or high. Your brain function also changes so it makes it harder to get out of it. Have you heard of the minnesota starvation experiment. They starved volunteers to see how to treat men coming back from the war, they started to have the same signs and symptoms as an ED and some of them even developed them. You can read a short version on wiki. I just want you to know that I understand you want to get better but the ED voice can be so strong that it makes it hard to fully want it. It also can be part of your identity so hard to give up. I am glad you are trying to get well. Have the battle is seeing your dr and going to forums and being open 🙂

I thought I should also link you to a video about men with eating disorders. IT is really well done. Especially the first 3 minutes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRim224xFjE there is also a website on it http://mengetedstoo.co.uk/

Dwyer as Sara said go to the staying well part of the forums to our other LGBT thread and we discussed the spectrum of sexuality a bit more. In short you can be anywhere on the spectrum and identify how you choose and what you feel comfortable with 🙂

Raynor I'm glad so far it is going well. I didn't know it had to be done slowly but it makes sense. I am also glad there are people from all classifications of the LGBT community here. I only know 1-2 bisexuals but yeah compared to gay and lesbian members I don't know many.

Sara how have you been hun 🙂

I am currently watching tv and eating strawberries. I have a triathlon on Sunday. Nervous but excited at the same time 🙂

[Just Sara]

Hey MsP;

I'm doing ok, thanks for asking. I've overcome two very scary situations, both with favourable outcomes. One with c and one in court. It's been a dicey road for the past few months, but I'm getting my headspace cleared for take-off again.

I couldn't sleep due to our discussion yesterday. I feel quite bad about disagreeing with a couple of your comments which I now realise was my misunderstanding. I'm sorry about that.

What it's done though, is bring up personal issues for me. I've been suppressing my sex drive for quite a while now. When it comes up as it has today, I feel sad. Anyway, a bit of confusion to contend with; I'll be fine.

Rayne...things sound great for you atm. You seem content and progressing well with each stage albeit slow. I'm really happy for you. 🙂

Danny...missing you. Mwah!

Shout-out to Essen, Eyes, all our newbies and those MIA.

Off to bed now...

Loving thoughts...

Sez xoxo

[MsPurple]

Sara don't feel bad for not completely agreeing with me. Discussions like those is what the thread is for. It's for us to learn and to get a better perspective of sexuality and the spectrum. I did realize (after reading your comment and re-reading mine) that I did say it wrong. I said yes you can kinda choose your label. What I forgot to say was You can not really choose your sexuality. You are born being attracted to a certain gender/genders/people and you can't change that. What I meant to say was you can sometimes choose a label. E.g. if you are a woman who likes women you can kinda choose to identify as lesbian or gay or queer but you don't choose who you are attracted to. I did put in it wrong and I want to thank you for speaking up as people must have been confused as to what I mean. I believe I was born this way and I can't change it. I choose to label myself bisexual as queer and pansexual just don't feel right to me. Can't explain why but they just don't

Sorry to hear you have been going through a rough patch and having to go to court. I hope the rough road is nearly behind you. IT does take a while to get back in the right headspace. I feel like my mental health can be really good one day and down right terrible another. It is like the weather I guess. I feel like my mental illness is chronic. I also have a strong family history as well.

I just want to remind you Sara that you are an amazing person and a huge contributer to the forums and especially here on the LGBT threads. We all love you hun. It is ok to not completely agree with my comment and I appreciate your insite because it helps educate me and gives me a better understanding. Most of the time I read yours and I'm like, I completely agree with her. It is good to gain education on here too 🙂 Keep doing what you're doing. Don't worry about not completely agreeing with me or challenging me because I am enjoying learning more 🙂

[startingnew]

i got my papers today for voting voted yes and is posted 🙂

[_FallenAngel_]

Hello Sara and MsPurple,

I hope you are well. I am sorry it took me forever to write an update. Actually, I had to see my GP today to get some referrals and appointments for coming weeks. I finally sat down and get my thoughts together 🙂 My appointment yesterday wasn't exactly as bad as I was expecting and although I am on slippery slope again :(( and my psychiatrist certainly didn't look very impressed initially with my blood test results and ECG reports but said he is not overly concerned but with a BMI of 19.4, I am sitting just at the edge and if it goes anything under that, he will need to get external support managing my eating disorder. Mind you I am 173 cm and I currently weigh 58 kg so I can't be sitting at the edge but I respect his POV.

Anyway I am seeing him since 2008 and he has always been very supportive and very good at focusing on the positives. He ended the appointment with "this will turn out well I hope" and I was completely honest with him about my feelings, behaviours, struggles, thoughts etc... He is really empathetic, understanding, supportive and genuinely caring. I appreciate him a lot. He drafted letters to my GP for a referral to a dietician, ECG, monitoring weight, Blood sugar level etc and in the meantime I will have to actively look for a psychologist and keep a food diary and a mood diary. And DO I understand the consequences of not following the treatment plan?

I have always done what pleases me my entire life and denied if I have an ED so I thought this is it..everything is catching up with me. I used to have a psychologist but I stopped seeing her as we had a fallout over something trivial and I ended up leaving and never got another one. I trust my GP & know she genuinely cares for me but I don't meet with my dietician very frequently because I think its not necessary as I am able to maintain my weight. I also asked about the treatment options available such as IPT and ERP as I have tried outpatient and although it did work I am certain I need something more intensive but that's up to my psych. He also recommended a different class of medicine (anti-psychotic) which can increase appetite and help weight restoration. So in nutshell I will be seeing him in few weeks to workout a plan with my GP, dietician and psychologist 🐵 I am hoping to start normal eating behaviours as I certainly don't want to end up in hospital or to get more sick. That's not how I imagined my life. Thank you X X X 🙂

[_FallenAngel_]

Dear MsPurple and Sara,

Thank you for your lovely and kind words!!! It's so encouraging and therapeutic,... Sometimes that's all we need to hear. I have always been very shy and it's difficult for me to open up to people easily,, not a complete introvert in sense but I often form friendships and relationships slowly. For that reason I have few friends, not a huge social circle and going through life on my own lately. I was in a relationship with a guy 🤔until march and went seperate ways, I guess our personalities clashed. He was a typical Leo- lots friends, partying, loud lol but decent otherwise and I prefer home environment, Netflix, I don't like going out every weekend :(... I have no problems being on my own which is how I have lived mostly- a typical Scorpio haha!

Growing up was fun up to a point. I hated school from year 7 onwards as bullying got pretty bad. There was no escape and it affected my studies because I was living under constant fear of getting attacked from the boys. It was such a hopeless time in my life. Most girls were ok and wanted to be friends and that used to piss off the boys even more. I can understand now the other boys were envious because the girls showing me attention and at age 10-11 the boys are all starting to get their first real puppy love crush experience and they don't know how to talk to the girls that used to flock to me.

I always had a poor relationship with food since I was a child. Everybody used to fast at home including my sisters who were already thin but nobody discouraged them. Fasting started these bad behaviours of missing meals, particular type of food groups, at a particular time, and so on.. Food was the only thing I could control at that time and given I was such a bad eater anyway, it wasn't hard for me to avoid food at school. Food disgusted me like those boys. I associated food with bullying and insults (I still do). It didn't stop there, it affected me psychologically my self esteem, body image relationship with my family and so on. My way of getting back at them was watching food intake/ restricting / fasting /exercising,, etc, when I was year 7 or 8, I had already joined a gym sooo obsessed on body image and flicking through magazines wanting a body like "that" guy. I don't know what was going through my mind.

I will leave it at here... meeting my brother now for dinner and some talk therapy lol 😭✊🏼 x x x

[startingnew]

can someone clear this up for me...

ive noticed 2 members here have said they are non-active bisexuals... can some clear up what that actually means please?

does that just mean your single?