The Transcendent Rainbow Cafe - social space for LGBTI members

[Paul]

It would be so great to have a thread here where we can chat about almost anything. We can have fun, tell jokes, share stories, you name it!

There's a "BB Cafe" thread in the general area where lots of people chat daily and have established some nice light hearted conversations, it's treated as if it's a real cafe, there's even virtual baked goods and coffee!

Let's create a chat here for anyone to join, in particular the GLBTIQ community to let their collective hair down and chill out. It's a safe space to be yourself.

We just need a name 🙂

[Guest_68]

Hi Ms Purple! I like what you say about semi-out. I was horrified at the thought of making some announcement at work and so on, so all I did was the name change - showed my poor supervisor my name change document - and let 'em work it out from there. Somebody called it "coming out by osmosis." As for where I am on the spectrum, I'm kind of still working that out. I take T and like that I'm looking more male, but nothing on relationships. I've never been able to really have one, which is sometimes why I get depressed and feel like a failure. My mother couldn't take it when she found out. I was still gearing up on how to tell her when she demanded "Are you also changing sex?" Very accusatory, very narrow, and things haven't improved much since. She mostly ignores the fact. Won't use my chosen name, calls me "She" all the time and is basically an octogenarian nightmare. I'm in a very depressed phase right now, feel very lonely and have little social life.

[MsPurple]

HI Infinity and welcome to the rainbow cafe. There is also another LGBT+ thread in the staying well section. I am thinking of asking moderators to move it to another section on the forums (maybe in welcome) it is for the more serious conversations. Feel free to post in any of these threads 🙂 whereever you feel more comfortable. Do you have anything you want to ask us or talk about? This is a safe place 🙂

Ratboy sometimes I just say I have dated a girl and it kinda lets people know that way. Some people like to make an announcement and I commend them for coming out the way they want to. I told mum as she was driving me to the airport. Saying oh if you do my info for the census I'm not straight. Haha

Infinity1199 said:

Hi Guys,

I noticed your thread on the social page and thought you guys would be a good group to get involved in.

I'm a 17 year old male who identifies as gay.

Would you guys be able to help me out?

[Infinity1199]

Hey Ms purple,

Thanks for the kind welcome! It's nice to know that there's a safe space for LBGT members to talk about their problems.

Honestly, I feel I'm doing ok handling my personal life. but, there's a embarrassing question I just want to get out of the way.

I really want to well...make more gay friends my age, but I'm a little shy. everyone keeps recommending I start going to this support group or this meeting but I'm feeling a little bombarded with everyone's opinions.

What do you think would be a good place for me to start?

[Lonelydan]

Hey Infinity, You've already made some new friends right here, i've read your post and I understand I was severely bullied at school also, and was sexual assault by a teacher and everyone knew about it. I was told I must of wanted it and enjoyed it, it was so bad I left after the first year of high school. My parents received a large compensation for what happened to me I never saw a cent of that money. I hope you do well with your case you deserve it. No one has the right to treat you as you were treated. It's important that you stand up for yourself and say No!! you will not speak to like that or put your hands on me. Dan...

[Lonelydan]

Hi Ratboy, welcome to the cafe, I understand depression and loneliness and having a non supportive parent must be the final kick in the guts you don't need. Isn't hard enough without that. A lot of trans people find relationships tough, I know a lot of trans women Who are heartbroken all the time because the men they attract only see them as a fetish not as a real woman. It breaks my heart to see them in such pain this world has so much to learn and the teachers are being beaten. Dan...

[Just Sara]

Hi and welcome iguess, Alex and Infinity;

(Big shout-outs to MsP, Danny, Rayne, Essen, FA and anyone I've forgotten; or those only reading)

I haven't been on for a while, been taking another sabbatical. Thought I'd pop in today to let you all know I'm still kickin'.

I love that we have new members on here! Iguess in particular as you've only done one post; a little poem for us to get to know you...nice. 🙂

Alex; I'm sorry life's getting you down; please feel free to vent or ask for help ok. We're here to support each other. I haven't been in a relationship for ages. I said to my sis yesterday; 'I'd rather be lonely than to deal with abuse, violence and disrespect'. That's basically my past.

The last contact I had with another woman was last yr and she sexually assaulted me. Ended up in a psych ward. Have sworn off meeting anyone since then.

Hi again Fallen Angel! I'm with Danny...let us get to know you better with more details. I promise we're not that scary.

Btw...Happy Belated Birthday MsP! Woo-hoo! 26 and counting. Ah yes, life will start going faster now. Par for the course I'm afraid. But...you're in your 20's and it's a great place to be. (If you listen to our messages of 'hindsight'. lol)

I'll leave things here ok. Trying to focus and not shut down.

Amen and pass the mashed potatoes!

Sez xoxo

[startingnew]

What is wrong with people!!??

Sara im so sorry that happened to you

We put our trust into the people we love and expect the same back not go and do that!

Seesh if she wasnt happy she could have left.

People serious never cease to amaze me (not is a good way) esp when it comes it LBGTI people.

I havent always been Bi and it took me a while to figure it out and no one knows except for people here but even when i was still figuring things out there was no judgement at all for LBGTI

You are who you are and thats good enough for me

[_FallenAngel_]

Hello Dan, MsPurple, Just Sara, and all the new members 🙂

I've been meaning to post all day but have been a bit preoccupied 🙈 Anyway, how's everyone? I had a busy day working at a friends coffee shop as he was short staffed and ended up drinking so many espressos which is giving me such a bad headache now lol 😖

MsPurple 26 is still very young and when I look back at how I was at 26 for instance, I was still very naive and acted about 22 hehe but I didn't beat myself up over it. I actually enjoyed hanging around people younger than me. I'm 34 however I feel pretty disconnected from my age or at least, I guess my own preconceived notion of what 34 year olds are like. I'm not sure what age I do feel like, because I'm not sure I ever felt in tune with any of my ages and I feel either older than or younger than my peers at any given time.

Just Sara it's lovely to see you again!!! I must admit I wasn't very active myself as I was in the process of moving and also looking at various treatment options to recover from my eating disorder. There are still good and bad days but it's a gradual process and I need to follow the treatment 100% for a minimum of 6-8 weeks to see the results.

Talk to you later guys x x x

[MsPurple]

Hi everyone 🙂

Infinity I think going to a support group would be a good idea. I know it sounds daunting but I think after going you will help you and will also help you meet people in the LGBT+ community. I haven't gone to a group yet (haven't found one for my age group that I'm available to go to). I've heard to people becoming more comfortable in themselves and also meeting new friends. You could always bring a friend if you are nervous. I'm sure Allys would be allowed for support. I should look into a group near me.

startingnew it took me a while to discover I was bi. I thought that because I liked boys it meant I was straight. But I also was attracted to girls in the same way. Once I talked about it and talked it over with my mental health nurse I was able to accept it. It has taken some time to become open but I am happy where I am. I think it is something younger people need to be comfortable talking about. Sexuality and attracting. I have since talked to open minded people and found that more people identify as bisexual than I knew, however they hadn't been in a same sex relationship. I also know a friend who considers herself straight because she is only sexually attracted to women but not romantically (meaning doesn't want a long term relationship). So the spectrum is bigger than I thought.

FallenAngel I have friends younger and older too. I feel old but age of my friends doesn't bother me. I also had to get treatment for an eating disorder. I was an outpatient through CAHMS team. I had to see a psychologist 1-2 times a week for 2 months then once a fortnight then once a month. I also had to see my GP regularly and I saw a dietitian. I was lucky to have the support of my family and they watched my meals. It is very much a mental thing. It took me ages to get my mental health better before my physical health got better. The illness was so ingrained in me. If I didn't listen to it my anxiety would go through the roof and I had to do things to make me feel better like exercise. I got frustrated when people didn't understand, and thought it was a choice. I just want you to know that it does get better and you can overcome this with help and support. I hope you find the right treatment for you

How is everyone going? I am currently watching the kingsmans service. I am definately gonna see the new movie coming out later this month

[Infinity1199]

I told my parent's I was gay during a meeting with my lawyer, I felt bad for the guy...probably the most awkward hour of everyone's life 🙂