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A game of one-upmanship (The Four Yorkshiremen Monty Python style)
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I have met many Monty Python fans in and around the threads. One of my favourite skits is The Four Yorkshire men where they each try and beat each other to tell the tale of hardship of growing up.
I thought it might be fun to try a game of one-upmanship and see if we manage a laugh or two ourselves. If you're not familiar with the skit, look it up on youtube, it's worth a look even if you don't feel like joining in.
Edit: here's the clip below -CB
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Hey, thanks Chris!
Well weren't you spoilt. Luxury I tell you. You had teeth! I got caught stealing a tooth just so I could chew some stale bread. Did I go to prison? No! I was put in a stockade where people threw rotten vegetable and fruit at me all day and then at night it was so cold my toes froze on my one good leg.
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Eyup nah! Si thi, all on thi: Ah dint get we-yer eye am bi stayin we-yer a wor an Ah dint get we-yer eye am bi callin a documentary a skit/sketch. It's tough beeyin a Yorkshireman te start wi, it's even tougher beeyin a Yorkshireman in Straya cos nary a one o thi speaks proper English, like as what me an queen talks in. An legs! dont talk te me abauht legs I'm a reyt proper Yorkie an dint ave any te lose, ah wor legless most of mi life an all mi friends an relies wor too. wi niver ad stocks niether, t'generation befoowor bunt em int war te keep warm s'when we got caught nickin teef wi just got kicked abauht tahrn bi t'local footy team. An that wor a proper footy teem too, not one that plays on t'cricket pitch. When ah wor a lad we'd ah got caned foh playin t'footy on t'cricket pitch, come t'think on it we did get caned foh playin t'footy on t'cricket pitch... regularly.
an you try tellin t'young uns t'day, (all together now) They won't believe thi!
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Thanks Chris....:-)
Now Im with you Carol. Very funnyx
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Aaahhh Bayleaf, I can see thi is a right proper Yorkshireman! Tha's not English laddie, not Strayan English leastways. But as this is a Yorkshiremen thread it's beaut! 😄 (Do they have Yorkshire as an option on Google translator?)
Avagoodaymate.
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Ah ta Kaz, g'donthi.
Corrections:
"Thata reyt proper Yorkshireman."
"Laddies" wear kilts and paint their faces (or potions thereof) blue and thi yent Yorkshiremen.
Otherwise all good, tha's gerrin theeyre.
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Hahaha, sorry Bayleaf - didn't mean to confuse you with a Scotsman, especially not a fictional version of William Wallace played by an Australian American called Mel.
I understand some Yorkshire but am still learning. Wonder if you might give us a translation, for the game ...
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Eyup nah! Si thi, all on thi: Hold on one moment please! Look (like proper Ausies start sentences wi - oops with) each and every one of you (contributors to this thread).
Ah dint get we-yer eye am bi stayin we-yer a wor an Ah dint get we-yer eye am bi callin a documentary a skit/sketch. I did not get where I am (a famous Yorkshire one-upmanship opener) by staying in that place in which I started and I did not get where I am at this moment by refering to the documentry footage (which underlies this thread) a skit or a sketch. We really do see life as the featured speakers do (and if they are indeed a bunch of mocking overpriviledged Oxbridge types they should be ashamed of their Yorkshire-phobic behaviour).
It's tough beeyin a Yorkshireman te start wi, it's even tougher beeyin a Yorkshireman in Straya cos nary a one o thi speaks proper English, like as what me an queen talks in.Needs no translation.
An legs! dont talk te me abauht legs And (traditional Yorkshire sentence opener) legs! Don,t talk to ma about legs (as in "Life, don't talk to me about life"*, a traditional Yorkshire "I've had it tougher than you-ism).
* With thanks to Douglas.
I'm a reyt proper Yorkie an dint ave any te lose, I am a genuine Yorkshireman (implicitly you are not and, logically therefore, a southern softie who does not know the meaning of hardship) and as a result of being a Yorkshireman was too impoverished to have legs in the first place.
ah wor legless most of mi life an all mi friends an relies wor too. Purely biographical asside and double-entendre.*
wi niver ad stocks niether, t'generation befoowor bunt em int war te keep warm s'when we got caught nickin teef wi just got kicked abauht tahrn bi t'local footy team. We no longer had stocks in my salad days as the previous generation had used them as winter fuel in a time of rationing and austerity (about to be reintroduced in the old country, I fear) so the punishment for tooth theft was a good bashing.
An that wor a proper footy teem too, not one that plays on t'cricket pitch. Austalians know nothing of proper football.
When ah wor a lad we'd ah got caned foh playin t'footy on t'cricket pitch, come t'think on it we did get caned foh playin t'footy on t'cricket pitch... regularly. Disciplne at my school was both harsh and violent.
an you try tellin t'young uns t'day, (all together now) They won't believe thi! Refers to the last line of the four Yorkshiremen interview.
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Aye they won't believe thi!
A Yorkie! Ha! Luxury indeed. I was born at the bottom of the world so far away they don't even put my birth place on maps.
Being a Tasmanian has added to my difficult life. Do you know how hard it is trying to balance two heads with only one leg?
And football! We Tasmanians had to play football on a gravel oval (no word of a lie) as there was no grass in Queenstown. They grew us tough down in Tassie.
Ha! Yorkshiremen had it easy. You got caned for playing footy....you were lucky! We got caned everyday just to learn to be humble.
That's Straya for you 🙂