Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

[Sophie_M]

We recognise that many of us here in the community are feeling scared, worried and overwhelmed about Coronavirus (COVID19). 

As a result, we created this thread to allow people to come together here during those difficult times and encouraged those wanting to share or seek support to do so here in this space. 
 
It was important with this thread that we maintained perspective and supported each other as best as we could, medical, scientific and public health experts around the world have and still are working hard to contain the virus and treat those affected. 
 
The Beyond Blue Support Service is available via phone 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or via beyondblue.org.au/get-support for online chat. 
 
There are some other helpful discussions taking place here within our forum community that you may find helpful to read or participate in: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/hi-there-i-only-just-joined-and... 

This thread is now closed for further posting. Users are still able to read through and find support through already existing posts.  

[mmMekitty]

Hello ElizabethCP,

Thank you for posting about how some people are trying to "make emonade from all the lemons we're having to deal with.

I had suggested to my local GP, if they were at all uncomfortable with me going into their clinic unmasked, then, I would be happy to have someone come outside to give me my 2nd vax dose there. There was a bench, where I could sit for the 15 minutes, to be sure I was not going to have any adverse reactions, easily observable from the reception area. No worries. But, no... I eventually did get in.

Lately, I am getting my helper to take me out to some near-by parks. She can open the window n her van, and I am not so uncomfortable being unmasked in these circumstances.

I get some some well-needed exercise, sunlight, and I feel like I am more a part of a real world again, one that has kids, dogs, more than some )lovely) crows magpie birds around.

It's a whole lot better than sitting alone in my little flat, complaining.

I know, from experience, once in a rut, it is difficult to get up and out again. It does not matter how you got in, whether pushed or voluntarily, it is so much easier to not exert any energy to get out again.

I am adjusting to doing some things differently.

mmMekitty

[Jessica2021]

Hi, I'm having a tough time living with my partner especially now that Sydney is coming out of lockdown. My partner wants to live where we 100% dont catch COVID. I don't want to catch COVID either but the restrictions are tiring to do. We have both been double vaxed. And now I just told him I need to go back to the office next week (my job requires me physically being there, but during lockdown I worked from home). Is anyone else in a relationship where their partner's anxiety over COVID is affecting their relationship?

He acknowledges that he has health anxiety, but wont go to a therapist or do anything to overcome it. He justifies it by saying he is just doing the right thing and taking precautions to keep us safe, and nothing is more important then our physical health. He has every right to feel safe, but living with him is hard and now he is saying if I go to the office on Monday I should pack a bag because I wont be allowed back in. I would have a P2 or KN95 mask (ear loop style) on all day, bring lunch and cutlery from home and eat this outside away from people, social distance all day, drive and park (so dont take public transport) and when I come home I take shoes off before stepping in, place my bag and shoes in a 'quarantine area' then have a shower (shampoo, soap on for 1mins) before I can touch anything in the apartment. I'm not being reckless.

[mmMekitty]

Hi Jessica2021,

You say:

"...and now he is saying if I go to the office on Monday I should pack a bag because I wont be allowed back in. I would have a P2 or KN95 mask (ear loop style) on all day, bring lunch and cutlery from home and eat this outside away from people, social distance all day, drive and park (so dont take public transport) and when I come home I take shoes off before stepping in, place my bag and shoes in a 'quarantine area' then have a shower (shampoo, soap on for 1mins) before I can touch anything in the apartment. I'm not being reckless."

You do seem to be taking every possible precaution, & more. Are you doing allthis in order to 'keep the peace' or to reassure him? Do you think it is reasonable for him to be threatening you if you don't do what he wants?

If these demands today, what tomorrow?

Do you think he would actually lock you out? If so,what then for you?

& any place which is & is guaranteed 100% COVID-19 safe is bound to be extremely isolated. so, if you are concerned he is serious about either taking you to an isolated place, or locking you out, please, phone RESPECT (1800 737 732 & discuss what you might do to keep yourself safe.

You have a right to your own autonomy. and to feel you are safe in your own home, to not have to cater to his fears and anxieties - those are his responsibilities. Because he refuses to try to get help with these feeling he has, does not mean you have to watch everything you do, or protect him from the realities of life. I mean, your work is not just for fun, is it? I'm sure your working supports your entire household. If you were to not go to work, what would happen then? What's next? Does he prevent you going out to shop, friends, family? Anywhere? If he sees the world as an unsafe place, how far could his controlling you get?

Warmest wishes,

mmMekitty

[Jessica2021]

Thanks Mekitty for your reply 🙂 Is this common? Are there many people out there with a partner that has anxiety around COVID making them very difficult to live with? And how do they cope?

I dont have anyone to talk about this with. I'm tired of 'keeping the peace' and 'reassuring him' all the time like you said. Its hard living with and loving someone who suffers from anxiety and becomes controlling.

My partner never acted like this before COVID. And now his fear of catching it is affecting my lifestyle as we live together. I have told him what I'm doing from next week regarding work so we will see. He has to learn to deal with it. I dont think he would actually lock me out, that would result in me calling the police/his mum/my dad/everyone to help me get back in and his biggest fear are people coming into the apartment so I'm sure he would rather its just me then other people (who he doesn't know has been taking COVID safe precautions).

I think I'll be safe, and am sure he will be mean to me and try to talk me out of it till then.

[ecomama]

Hey Jessica2021, a warm welcome to the forums.

I'm glad the forums are here for you when you feel there's no one IRL to talk to. Usually what brings all of us here to some point.

You're doing your best to alleviate your partners anxiety but tbh it's HIS issue to get help for and seeing as he won't get help, then the ball's in your court so to say.

No my partner doesn't have any real fears of catching Covid, he lives in the U.S. and travels extensively across many states for work. He's been doing so since it all broke out in the U.S.

I don't have any fears about it either, neither do any of my children.

I guess it's a balancing act of us doing our best to keep ourselves safe, within reason. That "reason" is what each of us make of it really.

Although I do understand that MANY many people are extremely anxious over Covid.

IDK how you'll be able to "manage" your partner's extreme anxiety.

I agree with MeKitty about calling 1800RESPECT. there are awesome Counsellors and psychologists to talk to and they may have some strategies or MH support for you in dealing with the new relationship dynamic.

Bestest wishes
Love EMxxxx

[Guest_1055]

ok I don't have any fear of covid either. But rather some fear regarding the vaccines themselves . Am I allowed to express my thinking on here or will I be judged. For me there is no point going to ask any GP.... Why because some may not have your best interest at heart . There are some doctors that think differently then what the main media is saying and they want to able tell you there honest opinion about the vaccines but they risk loosing there licences to practice if they do. There are so many people who want to speak up, but in reality are censored. I am not against vaccines, but I am against these ones. Why are they being so pushy? Why the bribes?. My mental health is being affected, because I am scared for the whole human race. Not because of the virus but because of the vaccines. My heart aches and is sad for people. I started to listen to main media (which I had been staying away from) and felt my being like my soul being sucked in to what they were saying. Like starting to be sucked in this hole. It may sound weird, but that was my experience. Firstly by hearing it, then other parts of me were emotionally affected. It really is a challenge to explain it. Initially I felt fear. Then a sense of comradeship to the Australian people. I am an aussie. Then a sense of team work or something. A sense of belonging to something that was bigger then myself. The alone feeling I often feel could be met if I believed what I was hearing. I mean I would be going along with the many many other people. Even on here.. BB. I wish someone on BB understood me. I won't be rejected if I just believed and went along with what others said. I could be one of the pack. I sense of belonging maybe.

But I cannot go that way. For it sends alarm bells off in me. My whole being, conscious and gut feeling just know that it's not right for me. Will I be seen as selfish, will I be seen as a weirdo, will I be hated even. Discriminated against maybe. I know I need to come to the point that I don't care what others opinion is of me. But I don't think I have arrived at that yet.

[Elizabeth CP]

I think one of the real casualties of this pandemic is the ability to accept differing opinions. My son in the UK has very different ideas to me re Covid but our relationship is far more important than our opinions. We agree to disagree and as soon as the conversation gets heated we both agree to change the subject. I was speaking to a friend last week who is against the vax. I am strongly in favour of it. I asked her to explain why she thought the way she did. For me it was important to understand other's viewpoints. Neither of us changed our opinions but we had a better understanding of each other.

Knowing you Shell don't want the vaccine doesn't change my opinion about you. You are still the lovely caring but vulnerable person I have got to know and care about on the forums.

For me the vaccine is important as it protects me and my family. Hopefully with enough people vaccinated it will stop so many people getting sick and ending up in hospital so that others like my husband with other medical conditions can get treated properly (something which is not happening currently due to the outbreak) I spoke to relatives overseas who had been vaccinated to find out firsthand what to expect.

There is no room for treating anyone with disrespect regardless of differing opinions. This is a difficult time I am really struggling as I'm sure many of us are. Let us reach out with love, respect and undertanding to all our fellow citizens to help us get through this time.

[meforcats]

Do any introverts among us feel anxious about lockdown ending? Dealing with all the socialising again? I've been content doing nothing in lockdown. Now that it's ending soon I feel anxious.

[Guest_1584]

l'm not in Melbourne and we haven't been in much lock down up where l am. But l must admit going down to Melb or through or around , during all this this last 18mths has been a pleasure for once. There were trips where say on the ring roads or some other , we were basically the only car on the road. They were night time trips but even some of the day trips with the traffic down to about a 10th of what it is normally , has been bloody beautiful .

And just a few wks back we were at Docklands ands picking up a car and the streets were so quiet , gotta admit , l'm gonna miss it.

We've also had a real kick out of the airport 4 or 5 times too though this as most of those trips we were only of a few people in the whole airport , God it was nice , surreal , but nice.

[Guest_1584]

l can't work out why poor Vic has yet again broken all the records, yet locked down more than any other city in the world. l don't see what else they could've been doing they've been majorly cautious and careful all through but yet again , we've been hit with this new wave like no one else in the country.

lt looked like for once NSW was gonna hold the crown and sorry NSW but in one way it was nice to be getting outdone for once buttttt, so much for that. Should've known we'd be up there again.

But why ? Do you think it's the weather maybe ?

And how is it even possible with the place locked up like this ?

rx