Worst case scenarios

[alby65]

Hi there

i don’t think I’ve posted on a forum like this before. I have always been anxious. I have episodes of heightened anxiety where my mind can take a scenario, on the flimsiest of evidence, and immediately go to the worst case outcome, however absurd. I then feel myself losing control over perspective, and the incredibly unlikely outcome becomes almost certain. I can’t shake the feeling with logic. When I think I may have reasoned myself out of the panic, my mind sabotages and tries to find fresh ways of looking at the situation which make the worst outcome more likely. When I do break free of the panic (and it could take weeks or months) and look back it’s amazing how silly it looks from a distance, but while I’m inside it I feel helpless.

I’m there right now, in the middle of it. I’m having a lull at the moment as I type, but earlier this morning I was prowling, had trouble breathing, nauseous, and for a while I was howling and holding my head, rocking back and forth. I’m anticipating a lot of pressure at work soon (am on holidays at the moment, not helpful as there’s lots of spare time for my mind to mess with me), and I have been through a lot of physical trauma in the past 4-5 years with 2 different cancer diagnoses, extensive surgery, radiation and chemo. I have bowel surgery coming up in December because of Crohn’s diesease. I think I’m also just weary of the world. I’m not suicidal, I don’t think I’m depressed, but I feel really worn down and my anxiety and tendency to panic seem to have taken the opportunity to have a go at me...

[Guest_342]

Dear Alby,

i know this feeling - something eventually flicks and for some reason your mind feels totally reassured, but then not long later the mind is tempted into reassessig the evidence from scratch again, and sometimes the only thing to stop to compulsive worry is the introduction of a new worry, right? It’s so traumatising, isn’t it, and infuriating how much time and energy one can put into worry about something one cannot control.

I can’t advise you what to do, but Ive got a few tools in my kit that sometimes work for me. E.g. stopping and assessing whether this thing that I’m worrying about is something within my control - if not, which is often the case, why should I give it the benefit of my precious time? Distractions can work for me - e.g. do some painting, or someone once gave me the idea to do a drawing copying an object at home but turn the object upside down - it was really surprising how much attention I had to give this task, as I was not able to draw it simply from memory. Another thing Indo sometimes is, how would someone else react to this situation - would they worry about it so much? Or what would I saw to someone else who is ruminating to reassure them (following my own hypothetical advice in that way can help me). Also, i saw someone in one of these forums refer to an app that gets you to note your worries down and it will remind you later on what you wrote and prompt you to ask yourself if the bad consequences actually eventuated - but I can’t remember the name sorry - does anyone else know?

lastly I wanted to wish you well and comfort you in the fact that you are not alone and there is lots of help available.

[startingnew]

hello Alby and welcome to BB

youve been through so much esp physically perhaps that constant stress and worry has brought forward the panic and perhaps health anxiety.

do you have any current supports like a psychologist and your gp? do you have family and friendship supports?also check out cancer council and also Chrons australia too. they may be able to offer more support and advice too for what your going through.

you dont have to go through this alone ok, there are supports out there for you and we are here for you for whenever you need as well

[alby65]

Hi Gelati

I just wanted to say thank you so much for such a thoughtful reply. I will definitely try some of those things, and I wish you well also.

[alby65]

Hi there

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I need to go back to my GP, and the cancer centre locally has a phychologist who I’ve spoken to before. I think I need to go back there.

[startingnew]

hello Alby

i think they sound like really good ideas! the more support the better. do you think youll be able to arrange them soon?

[alby65]

Yes, I’m away from home but will be back there this time next week.

[startingnew]

that sounds good, feel free to keep talking here to us to though. you can talk about whats bothering upsetting you or anything else. 🙂

[alby65]

Thank you. One of my problems is, although I fall asleep relatively easily, my mind doesn’t seem to switch off and is active. I often semi-wake I think around 4am and lie with a head full of not rational thoughts, which then consume me and I can’t quite fall asleep again (I tend to get up around 6am) When I do get up I have a collection of unhelpful thoughts that need to be cleared or dealt with, so it’s a matter of trying to bring some perspective and reality back to my thoughts. I am waking up tired...

[startingnew]

hi Alby

many people with mh issues have sleeping troubles, myself included. have your tried abit of journalling before bed? sometimes it helps to clear the mind first then sleep- might be worth a shot..

i found journalling and going into detail was to much for me so i found writing down dot points of the things that were bothering me, or worrying about what had to be done the next day more beneficial. Kind of like ackowledging the thoughts but knowing it can wait till the next day to be dealt with.

do you think that might be helpful for you?