worried about sons anxiety and depression

[so_so_sad]

Hey, I am worried about my son who is struggling atm with his anxiety and depression. He is 26 nearly 27 and unable to find a job, never has had one but spent years getting to a better place with his mental health. Now it has all gone up the creek with one comment made online, stupidly of course but we all make mistakes. He was doing volunteer work and there was a complaint made to the company he did that for and now after 3 years of hard and loyal work for them they wont let him come back because of one mistake. He had a mini mental breakdown today and I am at a loss of how to help as it was one of 3 things that happened today but this was the one that ended up breaking his spirit today. Can anyone help this mother who loves her son very much

[White_Rose]

Hello so so sad

Welcome to the forum and thank you for your thread. It is difficult when our children are hurting and we realise we cannot "kiss it better" as we did when they were young. I am sorry your son lost his job in that way. It seems pretty harsh for one mistake and more so with the effect it has had on his mental health. Unfortunately it is easier for organisations to simply tell a volunteer not to come again. If he was a paid employee the company would need to justify their dismissal.

Is there any way you can speak to his manager and ask them to reconsider?

Encouraging your son to talk about his hurt and disappointment may not seem much but it is a great reassurance that he is loved, even though you do not say so. Sometimes the person can feel cut off from everything and would welcome this encouragement.

May I ask, does your son have a therapist? If not maybe it would be a good idea. It would be another person to offer support and perhaps some offer ways of coping. You know your son best. Do you know any ways of helping him? Perhaps something that has helped in the past.

Is your son looking for another volunteer role? This may give him a sense of purpose though he may not be ready for this just yet. It is always hard finding a new job no matter how skilled the worker is. What does your son enjoy doing? It may be useful to tap into something he feels enthusiastic about.

I'm sorry I cannot give you more specific suggestions. Please continue to post here.

Mary

[so_so_sad]

Hi Thanks for your reply. We put in an appeal a week ago in writing and yesterday got the reply back saying that he definitely cannot come back which is what put him into a tailspin as it was the one thing that made him feel worthwhile. He has written back late last night so we will see if they reply again or not. He knows he is loved for sure as I am telling him all the time and we never go to bed without saying I love you to each other or go out without each other and say the same thing. He has been to counselling in the past and found it helpful. He cannot get in to see his doctor till the 27th July so am hoping that he can get another mental health plan then again. He did have a wonderful one through his job agency but they laid him off for one of their own as he was private but he did my son the world of good he was awesome. I dont believe he does this work anymore. We have planned to speak to the job agency today re a new volunteer role but what would really help is a job and now he is scared because of one mistake that this will affect him getting a job. His dad was abusive and I am not with him anymore but that along with bullying at school he has been through a lot in his lifetime. Sometimes I feel like it is my fault because I put him in these situations. He loves playing his xbox but his best friend is in sydney and has just got a new computer and now apparently wont play as much online with him as he did before and he has only one other friend here but he works a lot so he feels quite alone. I am his mum and I will do anything for him, I hate seeing him in this much pain.