working makes me want to throw up

[miael-]

this is my first time doing something like this so i’m sorry if im doing it weirdly.

i don’t know why but just thinking about work and anything to do with it makes my heart beat fast and makes me want to throw up it’s my first job as a 17 year old. i know it’s bad for me to have a first job so late but i have been avoiding it because of the anxiety(i think that’s what it is) every time im about to go to work i cry and cry even when im at work i cry i dont know if its the stress or the interactions but i dont feel comfortable. i’ve been working there for about 3 months and i still cant get over the sick feeling of thinking about it. because of the sick feeling i haven’t been eating well and i haven’t been sleeping well either i don’t know what to do. everyone thinks im just scared and ill get over it but i have never felt like this for a long period of time before, its everyday.

[Croix]

Dear Miael~

I'd like to welcome you here to the Forum, a good move as it may give you more of an idea how to go about things.

Just becuse you are 17 does not mean you do not feel things as deeply as anyone else and frankly the assumption you'll "just get over it" is silly.

You are having a miserable life, crying, not sleeping or eating, wanting to throw up and avoiding matters. There have been going on for a while and I think it is time to realise you are not able to "make yourself better" any more than I was.

My anxiety condition came out in several ways, including the ones you have described. I only started to improve when I had assistance from outside. There are many ways of getting this, a GP who listens, a psychologist, though that can cost money, or perhaps as a start ringing or texting The Kids Help Line.  They can be a real comfort, especially if you use phone rather than texting, and are very knowledgeable about the problems young people face.

Life can be so much better for you

Croix

[therising]

Hi miael-

It's so important that you give yourself the credit you deserve when it comes to first time challenges. First time challenges aren't always easy and they can come with a lot of mixed emotions. How to pull all individual challenges and those mixed emotions apart and make sense of them all can be a challenge in itself, that's for sure.

I think while some jobs can challenge us to develop in many ways, other jobs just aren't suited to our nature. Wondering which of those 2 categories your job falls under.

• On one hand, we can be pushed to develop confidence and higher levels of self esteem in a particular job. We can be pushed to develop through months of practicing elements of the job, before those elements eventually become second nature. So, with practice the job becomes easier over time. We can be pushed to develop certain skills and abilities within the job, which can also push us to greater levels of self understanding and research, when it comes to mastering such skills and abilities. The list goes on when it comes to how we're pushed and what we're being pushed to do
• On the other hand, some jobs are just too stressful to manage. Management can be stressful to work with or work for. Other staff members can be highly emotional and we can end up feeling all their emotions (one of the challenges of being empathic). If we're working with the public, members of the public can prove to be too triggering for our own good. If the job is just too fast paced for us, we can discover we're someone who's much better suited to a more relaxed pace and the job is just not for us. If there's an issue with under staffing, we can feel the pressures that come with this (doing the job of 2 people). We could also be feeling a lack of much needed support from other staff members or perhaps the side effects of inadequate training brought about by someone who doesn't train us all that well for the job. This list also continues

I've found that the overall challenge with being 'a feeler' comes down to gaining a better sense of what it is I'm actually feeling. It definitely doesn't help when people are dismissing my feelings. When they wonder with me (about what it is I could be feeling) and hit on certain revelations that they can share with me, this is what actually helps shed light on things. It's about getting a better feel for or a better sense of what an overall challenge can be about. 

[Guest_46703076]

Hi miael,

I felt this way when I was younger and it was debilitating. I don't think I ate properly for years and no one understood. It took me ages to work out what worked for me. I found I had dietary intolerances, I get motion sickness from public transport, and I get vertigo from certain spaces and activities. And.. I was taking the contraceptive pill which contributed to the crying. There was so much crying. All of that put together gave me anxiety which made work hard. Gradually over time I figured it all out. I still have anxiety but I have figured out how to work my life in a way that keeps it manageable. I ended up studying online and getting a job close to home, working close to home makes a big difference for me.

It is really hard when people don't listen and tell you to get over it. It is really hard to feel sick all of the time. And its really hard to go to doctors and they don't get it. 

I hope you find your solutions, don't give up and take care of yourself.